Satire

A spoof video has been released of the DUP celebrating to Electric Six's "Gay Bar", and it's the best thing you'll see on the internet today. The Unionist party, who have strong and controversial views on homosexuality, won the majority of seats in Northern Ireland on Thursday. They will now buddy up with Theresa May to form a majority government in the House of Commons. But they're not without controversies. The party are renowned for their conservative beliefs, particularly concerning the...

By Tom Moore Winnie Mandela has today come out in support of Donald Trump and says that she too is struggling to think of another politician who’s been treated as badly or unfairly as him. Yesterday, in an address to the cast of the new Baywatch movie, Trump valiantly and courageously hit back at the unfair and biased media who clearly have a hidden agenda, because he is not part of the political establishment. Despite his best efforts to stick...

By Tom Moore Fears over a second Ransomware attack on Monday morning have come to nothing after it received a letter over the weekend asking it to come back in four months. NHS chiefs were said to be fearful of fresh disruption as staff turn their computers on Monday morning but experts believe the virus failed to gain access to the network as most staff don’t turn their computers on until 11/11.30. By this point it is believed the cyber-attack...

SATIRE: The Tory party has today announced that it plans to push for sheep to get the vote. A Tory Party spokesperson said "We strongly feel that sheep should have the right to vote and all views should be represented. Some on the left have claimed that sheep always follow the heard and are easily scared into supporting policies that don't benefit them. However we are confident that sheep can make up their own minds and would benefit from a strong and stable...

United Airlines are on the look out for orphaned children, army veterans and sweet old grandparents after kicking the shit out of a doctor and killing off a bunny rabbit. The disgraced airline is going for broke on all flights into Chicago O'Hare with stealth flight attendants ready to poke fun at parentless children and sabotage the less abled. Reporters in Chicago say the airline is also keeping a keen eye out for Paralympians and newborns. Spokesperson for the airline Gary McGeffers...

It was my first day on the job but that wasn't unusual as it was everybody's first day on the job at MAYOUT, an organisation so new that we hadn't even worked out just what the letters in MAYOUT stood for as an acronym. Jenkins, who had come to us from football after his great success with the Sven Out, Moyes Out, Pardew Out and Wenger Out campaigns (granted that last one is TBA) suggested 'Meeting All Yobs Outside Underwood's...

By Tom Moore Donald Trump has today offered European leaders, including Angela Merkel and Boris Johnson, free United Airlines flights to the G7 summit in Sicily next month. The move comes as Trump aims to grow stronger ties with his European Allies in the face of increasing hostility with Russia. Boris Johnson and Theresa May are thought to be delighted with the offer as it shows ‘strong and positive’ signs of the a blossoming relationship between the two countries. Boris...

By Tom Moore The people of planet Earth have today voted to leave their current trajectory around the Sun and take back control of their seasons. The surprise result will see the Earth leave the orbit of the star at the centre of the solar system and float aimlessly through the galaxy until all life on the planet expires. Earth has been in Orbit round the Sun for approximately 4.5 billion years with many experts crediting the Sun for helping...

By Tom Moore Racists up and down the UK are today unsure what to think as the reality of ‘being free to negotiate deals with nations around the world’ becomes apparent. There was an assumption amongst the racists that ‘other nations’ meant the US and Canada and possibly one or two South American countries, but the whiter ones like Argentina. Theresa May has been spending time in Saudi Arabia and Qatar recently with the intention of securing partnerships and trade...