Satire

Satire

Brexit Betrayal march vastly outnumbered by Stop Tommy Robinson counter march

MPs finally agree Brexit Deal

MPs finally agree Brexit Deal. In unexpected twist, MPs agree Brexit deal that most of the UK will back. Takes back control whilst retaining ALL benefits.

Best mate suddenly expert on foreign trade deals

Best mate suddenly expert on foreign trade deals

Normal people up and down the country are noticing that friends and family members have suddenly become experts on trade-deals with emerging nations, it was revealed today. Despite previous interest being refined to civil servants working in the corridors of Whitehall, it appears that people throughout the UK are now...

Millions of people unwittingly expose themselves as idiots

Millions of people unwittingly expose themselves as idiots

Facebook users up and down the country have exposed themselves as idiots by sharing their fury over the miscarriage of justice that took place when modern-day-martyr Tommy Robinson, or convicted criminal Stephen Yaxley-Lennon to use his real name, was convicted for contempt of court.

Storm Emma proves climate change is fake, says Janet from Bromley

Storm Emma proves climate change is fake, says Janet from Bromley

#Satire Janet Birch, a delivery firm fleet manager from Bromley, says she has been proved right that climate change is a hoax due to the arrival of Storm Emma, otherwise known as ‘The Beast from the East’. Storm Emma has bought chaos to the UK with heavy snowfall leaving motorists...

Government publishes full list of compromises obtained from EU

A full list of compromises obtained from the European Union has been published on social media today. After pulling an all-nighter, European Commission President Jean-Claude Junker today announced that enough progress has been made in the first phase of Brexit talks to progress to talks about a trade deal. With the...

Suspicions raised as Boris Johnson arrives at work in a tank

Suspicions raised as Boris Johnson arrives at work in a tank

Reports this morning suggest the Foreign Secretary has been spotted pulling up at his office on Whitehall in an armoured vehicle, rather than his customary bicycle. Michael Gove could be seen helping Johnson reverse park the Challenger 2 outside the Foreign Office at around 8.30 am this morning. Witnesses confirm...

Scientists unsure how to dispose of Love Island contestants

Scientists unsure how to dispose of Love Island contestants

Scientists are unsure how to dispose of Love Island contestants after the popular ITV show ends tonight. This comes after the news that an estimated 5.25 TRILLION pieces plastic waste are floating in our Oceans, with Eight million tonnes of plastic being dumped into the sea every year. Over two...

Jeremy Corbyn thrills Glastonbury festival as polls favour him as leader

Woman complains about leftwing speaker speaking at leftwing festival

Jackie, 58, an accounts manager from Kent, was totally outraged when a leftwing speaker gave a speech at a leftwing festival. Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn addressed the 135,000 strong crowd at the traditionally leftwing Glastonbury festival. Whilst the crowd chanted Corbyn’s name and gave him a rapturous response, one BBC...

Ransomware unable to get second appointment for 4 months

Ransomware unable to get second appointment for 4 months

By Tom Moore Fears over a second Ransomware attack on Monday morning have come to nothing after it received a letter over the weekend asking it to come back in four months. NHS chiefs were said to be fearful of fresh disruption as staff turn their computers on Monday morning...

Planet Earth votes to leave its orbit around the Sun

Planet Earth votes to leave its orbit around the Sun

By Tom Moore The people of planet Earth have today voted to leave their current trajectory around the Sun and take back control of their seasons. The surprise result will see the Earth leave the orbit of the star at the centre of the solar system and float aimlessly through...

Timmy Mallett unveiled as War Correspondent at The Times

Timmy Mallett unveiled as War Correspondent at The Times

80s TV "legend" Timmy Mallett has told reporters he is made up to be given the job as War Correspondent at the Times. He hopes his colourful glasses, loud shirts, and giant pink foam mallet, will be fantastic camouflage to hide from snipers in war-torn countries. When compared to George...

I thought he said ‘muslin’ ban, reveals May

I thought he said ‘muslin’ ban, reveals May

By Tom Moore Theresa May has today claimed she did not challenge Donald Trump over his controversial travel ban as she thought it was only in relation to a particular type of cotton cloth. May told the commons she thought the controversial president had said ‘muslin’ and not ‘muslim’ and...

Trump reveals UK to pay for border wall

Trump reveals UK to pay for border wall

Theresa May has come under increasing pressure today after not only failing to condemn the use of torture and the controversial travel ban, but somehow agreeing to foot the bill for Trump’s proposed Mexican border wall. Tory MPs were warning May not to make too many concessions as she raced...

Trump signs executive order to invade Poland

Trump signs executive order to invade Poland

‘Are we living in Nazi Germany?’ Trump asks his supporters at his latest rally in Nuremberg. The leader of the Blurred Right is still angry about a recently leaked document which he believes came from his own intelligence agencies. Despite heavy criticism Trump stood by his comments, later reiterating his...

Emperor Trump holds first interview for Sith Lord apprentice

Emperor Trump holds first interview for Sith Lord apprentice

Emperor Donald Trump has had a busy week preparing for his first Sith Lord Apprentice interview. Always one for meticulous preparation, the Supreme Chancellor spent the week praising torture, denying inalienable rights to millions of women and destroying the home land of his native nationals. The first candidate to put...

Putting up a fight in the age of misinformation

Trump sets out plans to build Mexican mall on border

Donald Trump has set out plans to build a huge shopping centre on the Mexican border to increase bilateral trade between the two countries. Fulfilling an election pledge made to US voters that he would construct a mall as soon as he got into power, the new US president is expected...

Ministry of Truth confirm 100 million attend President’s inauguration

Ministry of Truth confirm 100 million attend President’s inauguration

The Ministry of Truth have today put all speculation surrounding President Trump’s inauguration to rest, clearly and ably demonstrating that his attendance was 10 times that of his predecessor. The Ministry of Truth have circulated a memo fixing the misquotations of the previous days and have destroyed any conflicting memes,...

Facebook reveals “activist” mates are actually ski w*ankers

Facebook reveals “activist” mates are actually ski w*ankers

James Tovey, 36, has felt betrayed after he looked through his Facebook feed in January and realised his activist mates are actually ski wankers. He said: “I spent an entire night talking about saving the NHS, and creating a more egalitarian society with one guy, I met at a party....

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