• Privacy policy
  • T&C’s
  • About Us
    • FAQ
    • Meet the Team
  • Contact us
TLE ONLINE SHOP!
  • TLE
  • News
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Opinion
  • Elevenses
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • Film
    • Lifestyle
      • Horoscopes
    • Lottery Results
      • Lotto
      • Thunderball
      • Set For Life
      • EuroMillions
  • Food
    • All Food
    • Recipes
  • Property
  • Travel
  • Tech/Auto
No Result
View All Result
The London Economic
SUPPORT THE LONDON ECONOMIC
NEWSLETTER
  • TLE
  • News
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Opinion
  • Elevenses
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • Film
    • Lifestyle
      • Horoscopes
    • Lottery Results
      • Lotto
      • Thunderball
      • Set For Life
      • EuroMillions
  • Food
    • All Food
    • Recipes
  • Property
  • Travel
  • Tech/Auto
No Result
View All Result
The London Economic
No Result
View All Result
Home Satire

Planet Earth votes to leave its orbit around the Sun

By Tom Moore The people of planet Earth have today voted to leave their current trajectory around the Sun and take back control of their seasons. The surprise result will see the Earth leave the orbit of the star at the centre of the solar system and float aimlessly through the galaxy until all life […]

Satire by Satire
2017-04-06 10:53
in Satire
FacebookTwitterLinkedinEmailWhatsapp

By Tom Moore

The people of planet Earth have today voted to leave their current trajectory around the Sun and take back control of their seasons.

The surprise result will see the Earth leave the orbit of the star at the centre of the solar system and float aimlessly through the galaxy until all life on the planet expires.

Earth has been in Orbit round the Sun for approximately 4.5 billion years with many experts crediting the Sun for helping form the foundations of the planet from nebula cloud.

Mark Jones, head of the Department for Leaving the orbit around the Sun and sun-sceptic, told us “It’s time we took back control of our seasons from this bureaucratic sphere of molten plasma. The people have spoken. No longer will the Sun determine the length of our summers, or the bitterness of our winters. We have given so much to the Sun for so long and got very little in return.”

Experts, however, have disputed this claim and have warned that without the Sun, the Earth will face years of darkness and uncertainty.

“This is scaremongering of the highest order” said Simon. “These so-called experts have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. We did not choose this solar system, it was forced upon us billions of years ago when the galaxy was a very different place. It’s an outdated, antiquated, bureaucratic gravitational curvature which leaves us with no control over our own destiny”.

RelatedPosts

Monster Crash – Brexit Halloween with the Ghost Tories

HBO pens Brexit ending after growing impatient with proceedings

Perfect Brexit deal finally revealed

Video – Boris fought the law…but the law won

I am certain that without the Sun, we will all have a brighter future.”

The Moon is expected to call an immediate referendum to see if it now wants to stay part of the Earth or remain with the Sun.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

View our  Privacy Policy and Terms & Conditions

Trending on TLE

  • All
  • trending
Abdollah

‘Rescue us’: Afghan teacher begs UK to help him escape Taliban

CHOMSKY: “If Corbyn had been elected, Britain would be pursuing a much more sane course”

What If We Got Rid Of Prisons?

More from TLE

Reactions to Brexit Secretary David Frost resigning as EU official indicates reason

What could do wrong? PM warns of ‘logistical challenges’ to roll out vaccine to public

How to Make… Gin Fish & Chips

Two for two! BBC fact checks another Boris Johnson claim

New fact checking service launched to combat coronavirus disinformation

Watch: Sadiq Khan Lays in to Jeremy Hunt with Stand-up Gag

‘I know nothing about the situation of my players’ – Tottenham Hotspur manager

Film Review: Birth of the Dragon

Racist thug jailed for attacking a DOZEN people during a rampage

Bond’s car tops Top 40 greatest cars to feature in films

About Us

TheLondonEconomic.com – Open, accessible and accountable news, sport, culture and lifestyle.

Read more

© 2019 thelondoneconomic.com - TLE, International House, 24 Holborn Viaduct, London EC1A 2BN. All Rights Reserved.




No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • News
  • Politics
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Entertainment
  • Lifestyle
  • Food
  • Travel
  • More…
    • Elevenses
    • Opinion
    • Property
    • Tech & Auto
  • About Us
    • Meet the Team
    • Privacy policy
  • Contact us

© 2019 thelondoneconomic.com - TLE, International House, 24 Holborn Viaduct, London EC1A 2BN. All Rights Reserved.