Satire

A leaked document, seen by the BBC, has discovered that Theresa May is actually a fussy and controlling chair of the Caterton village hall committee in Oxfordshire. May has been criticised for her tendency of "drawing in decisions and details to settle the matter herself." Her micro management of literally every decision has caused a huge bottleneck, while the big job of fixing the church roof has been totally forgotten about. She is still deciding the exact quantities of Orange...

A man who scoffs every time he sees a TV news piece about another boat load of immigrants drowning in the Mediterranean Sea, was left flabbergasted at the sight of snow leopards mating in the wild. Tony Richards, 45 from Rochester was sickened when he sat down to watch the show. Visibly shaking he said: “It just isn’t fair, the leopard was just trying to protect her cub, it was brutal, it wasn’t her fault, she had a natural instinct to mate,...

There was outrage yesterday after the BBC aired an interview with a dangerous ideologue, seen as being on the lunatic fringe of their own party. Critics of the BBC's decision say Mr Corbyn should never have been given a platform to further his crazy commie views before the nation. He shouldn’t be given a platform to “normalise” his radical ideas. Mr Marr, defended the decision to broadcast the interview: "It is our job as a news programme to explore his...

Batman villain The Joker has been elected Mayor of Gotham in a stunning electoral triumph. The eponymous villain, who had fired his team of goons and replaced them with a terrifying assortment of old Republicans, Spoke to reporters from his victory party at the Arkham Asylum; "I used to think I had to come up with some ingeniously evil scheme to inflict misery on the citizens of Gotham but, as it happens, my insanity and psychopathy have struck a real...

The 70 million people who voted for Trump in yesterday’s elections have told the rest of the people on the planet to ‘stop whingeing’ and accept the will of angry white American men. Donald Trump swept to victory against all odds with millions of people making an unmistakable rejection of a political establishment and an economic system that simply isn’t working for them. But the other 7.3 billion people whose futures are also at stake are concerned that a man...

Theresa May has told the nation that she looks forward to meeting up with Donald Trump soon, so they can discuss how much they don’t know what to do, in their new jobs. May said: ‘I literally have no clue what I'm doing or what Brexit even is. Saying ‘Brexit means Brexit’ is even wearing a bit thin with me. I guess I thought it I just kept promising things, people would eventually leave me alone, turns out they won’t....

Today Piers Morgan announced that he will be the new UKIP leader and has called for a snap general election to become Prime Minister. The Government is in disarray following the High Court ruling over triggering Article 50 and UKIP believe now is the time to seize power and finally quash all lefty-liberal-bleeding-heart politics. A UKIP statement read 'Nigel Farrage has masterminded Brexit and the Trump presidency, so we are confident Morgan will be the next PM with Nigel's backing'....

A staggering 16.1 million people have today visited their GP reporting strange and unusual symptoms similar to re-experiencing a traumatic event, the NHS has revealed. Dr Paul Sagar, a GP at a surgery in Clapton, Hackney told the London Economic “It’s chaos. I've had literally hundreds come to see me this morning. They're all sitting in my waiting room necking their flat whites listening to radio 4, sweating relentlessly.” “No one can give me any information but their symptoms seem...

Today Harrods have removed Marmite from the luxury food isle following sterling rising sharply today on news of the High Court ruling on Article 50.  Following the Brexit vote in June, the pound had slumped to record low levels meaning fuel and shopping prices have risen, with price hikes predicted to continue. However, the court ruling that Parliament must make the final decision on Brexit has made triggering Brexit a lot trickier and has given sterling a massive boost. The pound was up 1%...