Miles Reucroft is undertaking a different way of playing the ever popular Fantasy Football this season. To understand his methodology, read part one here. The Week 1 review is here, Week 2 transfers & preview here, Week 3 preview here, Week 4 preview here, Week 5 preview here, Week 6 preview here, Week 7 preview here, Week 8 preview here, Week 9 preview here, Week 10 preview here, Week 11 preview here. Week 12 preview here. Week 13 preview here. Week 14 preview here. Week 15 here. Week 16 here. Week 17 here. Week 18 here. Week 19 here. Week 20 here. Week 21 here. Week 22 here. Week 23 here. Week 24 here. Week 25 here.Week 26 here. Week 27 here. Week 28 here.
We’re limping to the finish line now. Like a marathon runner resplendent in full SpongeBob SquarePants attire, we blew up a while ago and are now completing this tale of misery simply because we started it. We look foolish. We feel foolish. Our race is run.
Motivation has become an issue. The lads have got one eye on the beach and, truth be told, so have I. My own wretched attitude is permeating through FC Fakin’ Run Aboutabit HQ. Kasper Schmeichel went down with an injury last week and we’ve not seen him since. I can’t even be bothered to chase him up. What’s the point?
We made one new acquisition this week. Heurelho Gomes got injured then checked out. He wasn’t interested. He had to go.
“I’ll get you £4.5m,” says Gary, our player agent. “What are these? Off anywhere nice?” he enquires, flicking through a holiday brochure I’d tossed on my desk that morning.
“I’m thinking of the Caribbean, Gary,” I reply. “It’s been a long, unsatisfactory season and just thumbing through that has lifted my spirits. The sweet release of the conclusion of this in in sight.”
“Well,” says Gary, shuffling in his seat with the excitement of a man about to strike a deal – it’s a look I’ve seen at least once a week this season. “I know a geezer who sorts out holidays; I can get you a nice little deal on a trip to Antigua, just let me know.”
I have flashbacks to the time Gary brought Oumar Niasse back to the club for a second go this season. And of course Gary knows ‘a geezer’ who can sort out a holiday on the cheap…
“Thanks,” I reply. “I’ll bear that in mind – see what the missus fancies first.”
There’s not a cat in hell’s chance I’ll be bringing this up at home.
Gary smiles. “I need a new keeper, anyway,” I say, before he can click into his full sales spiel about sodding holidays.
“That you do my friend,” he says, sitting back and clasping his hands together. “The trouble is, you’re not the most attractive gig in town right now. You’re season is… well…”
“Over?” I interrupt.
“Over – exactly,” comes the reply. Gary looks beyond me and out onto the training field, bringing his right hand up to rub his unshaved chin. “But I do have a lad who has a point to prove ahead of the summer and playing in front of your defence will certainly give him the chance to do just that!”
I don’t laugh. I dip my head to check my phone. “Go on,” I say, without making eye contact.
“Nick Pope could be yours for £5m.”
Pope goes straight into the side for this weekend. We’re going 3-4-2-1 and we’re playing for pride. Top one million is gone, but top 1.5m? We can but dream.
Pope – Hegazi, Otamendi, Maguire – Dave Silva, KdB, Milivojevic, Eriksen – Perez, Firmino – Aubameyang
Schmeichel, Xhaka, Cresswell, Janmaat