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The Duke of Northumberland’s estate company has sparked fears that seven blocks of flats could replace two thirds of the Isleworth Allotment Gardens, which have been used by locals to grow their own food for over a century.

"Levelling up" will fail unless Boris Johnson addresses falling social and health inequalities, Sir Michael Marmot warned.

"It just feel like it's another typical situation of Boris. There's no real foresight on it. It's dealing with things on a wing and a prayer."

The former comedian said "whatever has happened to Chris Whitty is not enough" in a barrage of appalling tweets.

"A quick Google search reminds us how they've obsessively tried to bring him down over the years," one person said.

"He did score?", the jubilant PM asked after jumping in the air.

The Manchester City midfielder credited an "all-round great team performance" as he bagged another goal last night.

“Soon, they will be brought under the regime of an increasingly digitised and aggressive hostile environment,” activists have warned.

“Brexit means Brexit” could be explained as “Brexit means you might have to punch someone if you need to partake in a shit”.