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Boris Johnson dismantled with Eton College reworking of Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’

"If you can lie and not be tired by lying, And pretend you act for the public good, Yours is this land and everything in it, And - as you wished - you'll be PM, Johnson."

Joe Mellor by Joe Mellor
2021-07-19 16:26
in News
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Another day another crisis, it seems, as our esteemed representatives lurch from one error of judgment to the next.

This time Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak were forced into an embarrassing U-turn after claiming they would not need to self-isolate because of a little-known pilot scheme.

The decision, described as “Barnard Castle on steroids” by Liberal Democrat leader Sir Ed Davey, came as half a million people were pinged by the Covid app, wreaking havoc on businesses.

“Because they were busted”

Today Sir Keir Starmer said Johnson only went into self-isolation after being ‘pinged’ by the covid app, ‘because they were busted.’

Speaking from Labour’s headquarters in London, he said: “This cannot go on.

“The public need clear leadership at this time, not this hypocritical way of trying to do things that just undermine confidence in the rules and puts lives at risk.

“We can’t afford to get this wrong. The price we’ll all pay is too high.

“So I call on the Prime Minister to join me in urging everyone, including his ministers and his mates, to continue to follow the rules on self-isolation.”

Eton

So how does one sum up an Eton educated PM who has spent a lifetime immersing himself in the unethical? Perhaps through a poem?

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Well, Brian Bilston has reworded a popular poem by Rudyard Kipling, to critique the UK’s Old Etonian PM. There have been quite a few down the years, for better, or more likely worse…

Here’s a reworking of Kipling’s poem ‘If’ (Eton College version). pic.twitter.com/cGBkPINguR

— Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) July 14, 2021

Here is the poem’s text.

Reactions

1.

Who would you trust more? pic.twitter.com/GvUF12phmo

— Bernie (@verconnell) July 18, 2021

2.

Brilliant.

And I’m continually reminded of some other Kipling words:

I could not dig: I dared not rob:
Therefore I lied to please the mob.
Now all my lies are proved untrue
And I must face the men I slew.
What tale shall serve me here among
Mine angry and defrauded young?

— Fishandjam (@fishandjam) July 14, 2021

3.

Brilliant. Johnston should hang his head is shame but he’s probably laughing.

— Trevor Lunn (@TrevorLunnLV) July 17, 2021

4.

Brian Bilston, consider my cap well and truly doffed to you sir.

— Tom Jackson (@teej63) July 14, 2021

5.

Or more simply. My pic pic.twitter.com/2RwON2uXab

— Prixpics (@prixpics) July 19, 2021

6.

An exceedingly good Kipling take

— Leon Cleife (@LeonCleife) July 14, 2021

Related: Letter to Boris Johnson’s dad from Eton College resurfaces online – and it explains a lot

Tags: Boris JohnsonBorisTheLiarEton

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