Politics

Professor Stephen Reicher said infections need to be much lower before lockdown is fully eased.

The assessment criteria for the vacant Health Sec job appears to have been ‘are you very keen on the privatisation of the NHS?’ Sajid Javid answered with a huge ‘hell yeh!’ and he was in Hancock’s defiled office within the hour.

The research also suggested that 69 per cent of Labour members would prefer Andy Burnham as leader.

The Duke of Northumberland’s estate company has sparked fears that seven blocks of flats could replace two thirds of the Isleworth Allotment Gardens, which have been used by locals to grow their own food for over a century.

"Nobody’s been interested in this area, and all of a sudden all these politicians are saying ‘we care, we care!’. And we’re all just like, ‘yeah, of course you do’."

As if Matt Hancock hadn't been humiliated enough...

"EU citizens. Less important than sausages."

"Poor Germans. This wasn’t the Brexit narrative fed them by their press, was it?", Lord Moylan tweeted.

“Soon, they will be brought under the regime of an increasingly digitised and aggressive hostile environment,” activists have warned.