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"Did... did a pigeon write this?"

Researchers said that more than 1.21 million deaths in urban areas globally could have been avoided.

"It is shameful that Bristol City Council did not take down the statue of slaver Edward Colston that had caused such offence to people in Bristol, and equally shameful that they then supported the prosecution of these defendants.”

"Companies are already having trouble with the system,” one reporter said.

"So Gillian Keegan doesn’t know how many have left but can absolutely guarantee all the vacancies have been filled... how does that work?" one person asked.

A young girl in a pink onesie was carried ashore by her father in Dover on Tuesday.

"Johnson thinks it is great that pint glasses now have a royal crown again. Hopefully this grand achievement will comfort all those Brits in the pub, drowning their sorrow at the stupidity of their own government."

Geoff Hoon said he was told in "no uncertain terms" to burn a secret memo that said the 2003 invasion of Iraq could be illegal.

The blow for the over-60s comes amid increases in National Insurance, energy bill costs, income tax, rail fares and council tax.