“Boris, we’re worried about you, we’ve had everyone out looking, you can’t sleep on this bench another night!” pic.twitter.com/8VjxKeMSiZ

— Unnamed Insider (@Unnamedinsider) September 6, 2019

“Look, you just can’t walk into Greggs, go behind the counter, place your cock next to the cakes & shout
WHO WANTS A BIT OF MY YUM YUM? You made that little girl cry” pic.twitter.com/qh9GNv52oX

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) September 6, 2019

"So…and I don't want you to get more upset…but there's a general feeling that you're not very good at this. How does a short walking holiday in Switzerland sound?" pic.twitter.com/JlCAHhRiSr

— Dom Joly (@domjoly) September 6, 2019

"How about… how about I tell people you're allergic to the new dog and it's given you some sort of brain thing?" pic.twitter.com/4C8hE38x8F

— John Rivers (@johnrivers) September 6, 2019

Four days into parliament and he looks like a concerned relative has found him drinking heavily and shouting at pigeons in a bin pic.twitter.com/xijPsdv9Qo

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 6, 2019

gently talking your uncle out of making a move on your friend from yoga pic.twitter.com/rcJk4hm7dS

— joe (@mutablejoe) September 6, 2019

MISSING – Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson. Last seen staggering around up north. He's not himself having just started a new job he wasn't in any way capable of. Do not approach him, he's a compulsive liar and can't be trusted. Any information contact… actually don't bother pic.twitter.com/SaVm1dEcar

— HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) September 6, 2019

“The joke is that politicians normally say they’re resigning to spend MORE time with their family” pic.twitter.com/lWK2W00WEm

— James Serafinowicz (@flidby) September 6, 2019