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PPE Medpro - which has no history of delivering PPE - also has two directors resident in the Isle of Man.

"Fair play to CCHQ for accepting an expenses claim for a solitary three-piece variety meal".

"We've had people who have been removed from the tree and taken to a cell - and then come straight back here after being released. We will stay here as long as it takes."

Next we'll hear Rishi Sunak is economic modelling on a Commodore 64. Or perhaps Liz Truss has gone full Luddite and decided to build her tax evaders ‘free port’ wet dream moulded out of mouldy Stilton.

The latest testing debacle comes on the back of a string of successive blunders which qualifies this cabinet among the worse ever.

The PM was also reminded that just 7 years ago he said: "Labour put in a load of wind farms that failed to pull the skin off a rice pudding. We now have the opportunity to get shale gas - let's look at it."

"As Conservatives, we do not measure the depth of our compassion in two hundred and eighty characters on Twitter, but in the actions we take and the choices we make", she said.

Donald Trump will have to self-isolate as the campaign enters the home straight. It could be the final nail in his re-election hopes.

The president said he had found it hard to socially distance while meeting members of the armed forces, who just want to "hug you and kiss you".