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Home Satire

Brexiteers demand return to bloodletting & re-introduction of blue blood

Brextieers who are revelling in turning back the clock, in the UK, to the past, have now moved onto ruining the practice of medicine. Maggie Selby, 75, said: “Before the EU came in, if we had a problem, a bit of bloodletting would cure it in no time. “Feeling ill? Well you’ve got too much […]

Satire by Satire
2017-04-04 10:08
in Satire
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Brextieers who are revelling in turning back the clock, in the UK, to the past, have now moved onto ruining the practice of medicine.

Maggie Selby, 75, said: “Before the EU came in, if we had a problem, a bit of bloodletting would cure it in no time.

“Feeling ill? Well you’ve got too much blood inside you obviously, get that body cut open and let some of that infected blood out.

“Then all this health and safety came in and ruined everything.

“We also had blue blood before the EU, this burgundy nonsense has only been around since 1973. I remember, fondly, my mum slicing me open, when I had a fever, and beautiful blue blood draining into the open sewer.

“I was so elated, before I passed out, it never did me any harm, well apart from losing my leg above the knee.”

“Now the only red tape I want is around the open wound after I have sliced myself open for literally no reason at all.”

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