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Home Satire

Anyone likely to live more than four hours not to be classified as urgent emergency, says Hunt

The Government has rowed back on the four hour A & E pledge and have now reclassified it as anyone who can survive more than four hours are now not an “urgent” case. Tony Grays, 44, who had been stabbed in the stomach was turned away and seemed ok with it. He said: “Well I […]

Satire by Satire
2017-01-10 17:07
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The Government has rowed back on the four hour A & E pledge and have now reclassified it as anyone who can survive more than four hours are now not an “urgent” case.

Tony Grays, 44, who had been stabbed in the stomach was turned away and seemed ok with it. He said: “Well I thought I was at death’s door, but it turns out I have at least four hours to go, so I’m going to enjoy the rest of my time on earth, is there a casino around here, I’m feeling lucky?” He died later that evening.

Sam Giles, 23, came in with one punctured lung and was told she was fine for at least 24 hours, so punctured her other lung herself to get medical attention. Through deep gasp she said: ‘It was a risky move but I think it has paid off.” Sadly she died the next morning.

Hunt said: “Well if you are not going to die within the fours hours you are not an emergency, you are simply an accident, probably from birth.

“Look if you are not dying, wait to see your GP in the morning, or more likely the two week wait for an appointment.

“I mean I didn’t wait for a GP with my own kids, and took them straight to A & E, but I’m related to the Queen, and therefore, I am much more important than you.”

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