Count Binface has pledged a radical solution to the Thames Water fiasco and ways to combat noisy eaters in theatres as he unveils his 2024 manifesto to be Mayor of London.
The intergalactic candidate in this year’s contest has already managed to outperform some of the human candidates in this year’s race by correctly submitting his nomination form.
Laurence Fox, meanwhile, will not appear on ballot papers after London Elects, which administers the mayoral and London Assembly elections, said the Reclaim Party leader had submitted nomination papers that had been found to contain errors – possibly the spelling of his own name.
Among the Count’s 24 pledges for 2024 include a commitment to make Claudia Winkleman’s fringe Grade 1 listed and build at least one affordable house, which is one more than most of the other candidates will likely build.
Ambitious commitments to solve the Thames Water fiasco by getting bosses of the privatised waterworks to swim in the Thames to “see how they like it” also takes pride of place on the list:
The two main candidates in the 2024 London Mayoral race are expected to be Labour incumbent Sadiq Khan and the Conservative Susan Hall.
In an interview with Prospect magazine late last month, Ms Hall dismissed allegations that she had reposted Islamophobic tweets as complaints about “hurty words”.
She said: “I’ll tell you what’s jarring. Jarring is the fact that poor people are having to pay £12.50 a day (the charge for London’s ultra-low emissions zone) that they literally cannot afford. That is real. And that isn’t just hurty words.”
Other candidates include Liberal Democrat Rob Blackie, Green Zoe Garbett, Reform UK’s Howard Cox, and perennial election contender Count Binface.
Animal Welfare Party candidate Femy Amin, SDP candidate Amy Gallagher, London Real Party candidate Brian Rose, Britain First’s Nick Scanlon, and independents Andreas Michli, Tarun Ghulati and Natalie Campbell complete the list.
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