• Privacy policy
  • T&C’s
  • FAQ
  • Meet the Team
  • About The London Economic
  • Advertise
TLE ONLINE SHOP!
NEWSLETTER
SUPPORT THE LONDON ECONOMIC
  • TLE
  • News
  • Politics
  • Opinion
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Entertainment
  • Film
  • Food
  • Lifestyle
  • Property
  • Travel
  • Tech/Auto
No Result
View All Result
The London Economic
  • TLE
  • News
  • Politics
  • Opinion
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Entertainment
  • Film
  • Food
  • Lifestyle
  • Property
  • Travel
  • Tech/Auto
No Result
View All Result
The London Economic
No Result
View All Result
Home Satire

Russian hooligans’ investigated after report finds evidence of ‘clean and healthy lifestyles’

RelatedPosts Monster Crash – Brexit Halloween with the Ghost Tories HBO pens Brexit ending after growing impatient with proceedings Perfect Brexit deal finally revealed Video – Boris fought the law…but the law won The Russian Hooligan Federation could face retrospective action after several high profile hooligans tested positive for vegetables; including superfoods kale, quinoa and […]

TLE ADMIN by TLE ADMIN
July 25, 2016
in Satire

RelatedPosts

Monster Crash – Brexit Halloween with the Ghost Tories

HBO pens Brexit ending after growing impatient with proceedings

Perfect Brexit deal finally revealed

Video – Boris fought the law…but the law won

The Russian Hooligan Federation could face retrospective action after several high profile hooligans tested positive for vegetables; including superfoods kale, quinoa and avocado. The IHC (International Hooligan Committee) has already set up a team to review CCTV footage taken during the recent European Championships to search for inappropriate sobriety within the Russian ranks.

@Young casual78, a spokesperson for the IHC said “If we are unable to find any corroborative footage of the Russian contingent either slurring, swaying, urinating in the street, repeating themselves or being over amorous with each other there will be some severe sanctions.”

Many within the sport are already pointing the finger at the Russian authorities amongst allegations of state sponsored clean living programmes. The report found evidence of Russian KGB officers handing hooligans bottles of water with traces of cucumber during a period of particularly warm weather.

The World Pro Doping Agency said it was not surprised by the report’s findings after conducting several tests immediately after the Battle Of Marseille, and found time to compliment the exemplary behaviour of the English competitors “The English were as amazing as ever. Footage shows them completing their pre-fight warm-ups of lager, chips and jumping on top of signs with their usual vigour and dedication. There was absolutely no water or sunscreen anywhere to be seen in the midday sun.

“There were pasty bits, bright red bits, wobbly bits and bad tattoos as far as the eye could see and everyone was wearing IHC regulation flip flops. It was a beautiful sight for the purist. They always know how to channel their racism and xenophobia in the fairest and most sporting way possible”.

Support fearless, free, investigative journalism Support fearless, free, investigative journalism Support fearless, free, investigative journalism

Subscribe to our Newsletter

View our  Privacy Policy and Terms & Conditions

Trending fromTLE

  • All
  • trending

What If We Got Rid Of Prisons?

Stress, fear and homelessness: The threat looming over families confronted with eviction

File photo dated 07/11/03 of a prison cell.

The Other Prison Pandemic

Latest from TLE

How To Make: Black Bean Chilli Mince

How To Make: Black Bean Chilli Mince

Set For Life Results Thursday 4th March 2021

Asylum seeker with leukaemia living at scandal-hit Barracks as Covid spread through site

Patel bullying case dropped after settlement but how much did it cost taxpayer?

About Us

TheLondonEconomic.com – Open, accessible and accountable news, sport, culture and lifestyle.

Read more

Address

The London Economic Newspaper Limited t/a TLE
Company number 09221879
International House,
24 Holborn Viaduct,
London EC1A 2BN,
United Kingdom

Contact

Editorial enquiries, please contact: jack@thelondoneconomic.com

Commercial enquiries, please contact: advertise@thelondoneconomic.com

SUPPORT

We do not charge or put articles behind a paywall. If you can, please show your appreciation for our free content by donating whatever you think is fair to help keep TLE growing and support real, independent, investigative journalism.

DONATE & SUPPORT

© 2019 thelondoneconomic.com - TLE, International House, 24 Holborn Viaduct, London EC1A 2BN. All Rights Reserved.




No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • News
  • Politics
  • Opinion
  • Business
  • Sport
  • Entertainment
  • Film
  • Lifestyle
  • Food
  • Property
  • Travel
  • Tech & Auto
  • About The London Economic
  • Meet the Team
  • Privacy policy

© 2019 thelondoneconomic.com - TLE, International House, 24 Holborn Viaduct, London EC1A 2BN. All Rights Reserved.