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Home Satire

FA ‘embarrassed’ after Allardyce caught on camera giving players advice during game

The FA are said to be ‘angry and embarrassed’ after England boss Sam Allardyce was caught in an undercover sting giving football related advice to players during a match. The undercover players, dressed in football shirts, shorts, socks and shin pads are alleged to have footage of Allardyce advising them on tactics and positioning during […]

Satire by Satire
2016-09-27 14:50
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The FA are said to be ‘angry and embarrassed’ after England boss Sam Allardyce was caught in an undercover sting giving football related advice to players during a match.

The undercover players, dressed in football shirts, shorts, socks and shin pads are alleged to have footage of Allardyce advising them on tactics and positioning during a half time team talk.

FA Chairman Greg Clarke confirmed in a statement today “Let me make this perfectly clear, Sam Allardyce was not given the job of England manager for his tactical know-how and ability to outthink other managers. He was hired for his ability to be English and good at shouting with chewing gum in his mouth. We have strictly forbidden Sam from even entering into discussions about tactics. If the players’ claims turn out to be true, Sam will be in breach of his contract.”

Allardyce was given the job in July, succeeding Roy Hodgson after a disastrous European Championship campaign during which he was criticized for his lack of touchline passion.

“It was humiliating watching Roy staring blankly at the pitch during the Euro’s” added Clarke. “So we thought we could probably go one better and at least get someone who will shout and point at things and look like he gives a shit”.

“But he knows that under no circumstances should he be drawn into giving advice about football. We hope this was just a simple error of judgement on his part”.

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