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Home Satire

Depressed jogger feels temporary elation after bumping into park-run

A runner suffering with mild depression unintentionally felt happy while out for a run. James Tovey, 38 a Charted Surveyor from Sydenham was on his usual running route when happy people infiltrated his depressed state of mind. He said: “I was running along with only my negative thoughts going through my head; telling me I […]

Joe Mellor by Joe Mellor
2016-02-02 13:57
in Satire
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A runner suffering with mild depression unintentionally felt happy while out for a run.

James Tovey, 38 a Charted Surveyor from Sydenham was on his usual running route when happy people infiltrated his depressed state of mind.

He said: “I was running along with only my negative thoughts going through my head; telling me I was worthless and pathetic, praying the release of endorphins might lift my low mood.

“Then suddenly an organised park-run ran into my path. People were chatting, encouraging each other and smiling. I felt part of something, maybe life wasn’t all that bad, credit card repayments aren’t a big deal, and ok I’m not great looking but life is more than skin deep narcissism.”

After three minutes, the park-run changed course and leaving James alone.

He said: “Suddenly they turned the opposite way to my direction and I couldn’t change from my course. I had stolen happiness and didn’t deserve it.

“Within seconds, I was alone again and the voice in my head punished me for not paying the full balance of my credit card and for my sticky out ears. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again.”

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