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Home Satire

Bank of England confirm new £10 note to commemorate Brexit by being worth £8.60

By Tom Moore The Bank of England have today confirmed the new £10 note will commemorate the EU referendum result by immediately plummeting in value to £8.60. The note, made entirely of foie gras, will enter circulation in September and is set to save the government around £4 billion. A spokesperson for the Central Bank […]

Satire by Satire
2017-02-16 15:36
in Satire
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By Tom Moore

The Bank of England have today confirmed the new £10 note will commemorate the EU referendum result by immediately plummeting in value to £8.60.

The note, made entirely of foie gras, will enter circulation in September and is set to save the government around £4 billion.

A spokesperson for the Central Bank said: “Look we needed to do something. It was either that or raise interest rates and, let’s face it, that’s not going to happen is it? Besides we couldn’t give a shit what the public think, they never listen to us anyway so they can all just fuck off.”

The Bank is set to face fierce opposition to the move as the drop in value is set to hit the very poorest hardest. The Spokesperson confirmed “Yes, that’s what it’s supposed to do.”

The move is also set to anger a number of animal rights activists, religious groups and vegan societies who have voiced concerns about the note being made entirely of enlarged goose liver.

But the bank confirmed it had undertaken rigorous research with the general public before its launch today. “We gave Nigel Farage and four of his mates the option of a limited edition rhino horn £5 coin, but they unanimously preferred this one. We assume because of the rich buttery texture of the note”.

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The note is set to feature Jane Austen but the Bank of England have confirmed this was not their original choice “We can only assume our intern got confused as we actually asked him to find a picture relating to austerity.”

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