The Not So Solid Crew of Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings still shows no signs of splitting up. The PM can’t break America without his Svengali, and they need to stop touring in Europe – it always ends in nul points.
Dastardly Dom only allowed MPs to question Boris for 20 minutes of his hour-and-a-half appearance before the Commons’ Liaison Committee, his contempt no doubt drawn from the fact that they were actually elected. It looks like there will be no second album, but Boris definitely dances to Dom’s tune nonetheless.
Downing Street has already refused to discuss Cumgate anymore. And, after Little Lord Fauntlecock’s curt, one-word answers at yesterday’s daily briefing, it is clear that they are desperately keen to draw a line under the matter. However, you can take a horse to water – but even the nag knows it’s getting taken for a ride.
Today the Prime Minister was being quizzed by MPs on the Liaison Committee via Zoom. The committee is made up of a so-called “super-group” of parliament’s select committee chairs, including former health secretary Jeremy Hunt and Labour’s Yvette Cooper.
Refused to return
The first question was whether he would come back again. Well, you only play this Committee once on your way up and once on your way down – so he basically refused to return.
Then he declined to answer any questions over Dominic Cummings. It got heated, especially with Yvette Cooper, but no straight answers were given by the PM. Talking about Cummings is holding up his response to the crisis, he suggested. The committee members were basically wasting his time.
To those who don’t get the musical reference in today’s headline (early 2000s Garage people…keep up!), they are reworked lyrics from a collective of boisterous alpha males, fighting to be top of the bill, with only one female member.
But enough about the Cabinet. Like Boris and Cummings, So Solid Crew were also repeatedly accused of illegality and hanging around with dodgy characters.
The other thing they have in common is that they reached the top of the charts – and Boris has also reached the dizzy heights of being top of the pile of the worst Prime Ministers in history. It’s only a surprise that Boris hasn’t already called himself Romeo while Cummings swans around referring to himself as Megaman.
The thing with alpha males – whether they are in the studio, the streets or the Cabinet – is that their torsos might look different, but when they beat their chests the sound is the same.
Ego
They are hoping ego and testosterone will help weather the storm. This committee appearance was no different. It was all filler.
Did Johnson answer any questions about Cummings? No, he deflected them and blamed fake media reports and people trying to score cheap political points. Did it work? No. Will it put the media to rest? No. Will it stop politicians on all sides demanding Dom’s resignation? No.
Like Jedward, the only people who want the band to stay together are its two members.
You feel that if Johnson had any self- awareness, as the Zoom call ended he would have turned Cummings and said: *Did you see me on the video oh no. Did you see me on the video oh no.*
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