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Home News

Best royal put-downs as Prince Andrew settles out of court

"Never met her. Don’t remember the photograph. I was in pizza express in woking. Can’t sweat. I demand a trial by jury. Ok here’s a big pile of money."

Joe Mellor by Joe Mellor
2022-02-16 10:09
in News
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The Duke of York is facing renewed calls to give up one of his last remaining major titles after agreeing to settle the civil sex assault claim against him for what is widely reported to be a multimillion-pound sum.

Andrew, whose status as a member of the royal family was left in tatters last month after the Queen stripped him of his honorary military roles and he gave up his HRH style, has been urged to show “respect” by now losing his dukedom.

In a letter submitted to the United States District Court, it is said that the Queen’s second son “regrets his association” with disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein.

The royal has agreed to make a “substantial donation” to his accuser Virginia Giuffre’s charity after the pair agreed an undisclosed out-of-court settlement in her civil sex claim against him.

No detail has been disclosed with regard to the settlement and costs, but it has been reported he has agreed to pay an eight-figure sum and there has been speculation the Queen might help with costs from her private funds.

Reactions

Well, the whole affair has been beyond sordid and unless you are BBC royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell it is doubtful you see (or would want) a way back for Andrew into public life.

At least, that’s judging from these reactions, anyway:

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1.

I'm glad Prince Andrew can put this behind him and get back to his important job of getting paid for doing nothing

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 15, 2022

2.

If there were only a nursery rhyme about a Duke of York making out that he was going to take something on and go all the way, only to retreat and surrender.

— davidallengreen (@davidallengreen) February 15, 2022

3.

I'm waiting for a statement from Pizza Express…#PrinceAndrew #VirginiaGiuffre #EmilyMaitlis pic.twitter.com/nQPPi7Nk4n

— Higgins Cartoons (@higginscartoons) February 15, 2022

4.

Prince Andrew in January: I demand a jury hear my case

Prince Andrew now: actually, let's definitely not do that pic.twitter.com/mAzbzwcbAN

— Adam Smith (@adamndsmith) February 15, 2022

5.

Translation: You are paying £12m settlement. pic.twitter.com/UHueC3ftaI

— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) February 15, 2022

6.

Ohhhhhhh
The grand old Duke of York
He borrowed 12 million quid
He gave it to someone
He’d never ever met
and for something he never did

— Balderdashing through the sloe (@notDcfcBoss) February 15, 2022

7.

Well, that’s certainly cleared up the whole Prince Andrew business and I’m sure it’ll never be mentioned again.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) February 15, 2022

8.

I wonder where Prince Andrew is going for dinner tonight to celebrate his out-of-court settlement?

— Mrs Nigel Farage (@MrsNigel) February 15, 2022

9.

Lot of really nasty snark on here about Prince Andrew like we haven’t all paid millions to silence a woman we’ve never met for an incident which never happened whilst we were taking the kids to Pizza Express

— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) February 15, 2022

10.

will there be a commemorative plate available at the Buckingham Palace gift shop pic.twitter.com/aE5znllqeG

— Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) February 15, 2022

11.

‘… Prince Andrew will now return to public life as the new Metropolitan Police Commissioner’

— Mo' (@mocent0) February 15, 2022

12.

amazing that Prince Andrew has paid up so much money to avoid court when he has such a great alibi and cannot even sweat

— dave ❄️ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) February 15, 2022

13.

The 90 mph winds forecast across the UK this evening, and for the following few days, is actually just #PrinceAndrew breathing out of long sigh of relief.#TheMoreThanAGrandDukeOfYork #VirginiaClaims #StormyWeathered pic.twitter.com/FFOn7UGHD8

— That Eaton-Jones Fellow (@BarnabyEJ) February 15, 2022

14.

Twelve million quid??!! For visiting a Pizza Express??!!
He must have ordered a starter and a pudding. And sometimes you think it’s unlimited coffee but you have to pay for each refill. That’s how they get you. pic.twitter.com/m6YOlfe7z9

— Jo Caulfield (@Jo_Caulfield) February 15, 2022

15.

How the settlement money will be knocking on Prince Andrew’s bank account. pic.twitter.com/3GrprzG1IG

— Kelechi (@kelechnekoff) February 15, 2022

16.

Listen guys, if Prince Andrew is handing out 10 million quid to women he’s never even met I might take a punt myself.

— Katy Brand (@KatyFBrand) February 15, 2022

17.

For Prince Andrew, an out of court settlement. For Boris Johnson, a questionnaire from the Met. Being rich and powerful means never having to say your sorry.

— David__Osland (@David__Osland) February 15, 2022

18.

First details of Prince Andrew’s court settlement emerge: pic.twitter.com/ny2Pr5PJ1v

— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) February 15, 2022

19.

a £10m settlement is enough to make anyone break into a cold sweat, if they can sweat

— Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) February 15, 2022

20.

Never met her. Don’t remember the photograph. I was in pizza express in woking. Can’t sweat. I demand a trial by jury. Ok here’s a big pile of money.

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) February 15, 2022

21.

Congratulations to Prince Andrew, who was found not guilty by a jury of a few million pictures of his mum in neatly bound bundles.

— Russ Jones (@RussInCheshire) February 15, 2022

22.

Wait. Does this mean Andrew Windsor was *not* at Pizza Express in Woking?

— James Oh Brien (@mrjamesob) February 15, 2022

23.

Virginia Giuffre must have sent Prince Andrew one hell of a questionnaire.

— THE SECRET TORY 🗽 (@secrettory12) February 15, 2022

24.

The Daily Mail currently trying to figure out how this makes Prince Andrew 100% innocent but at the same time totally incriminates Meghan Markle

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) February 15, 2022

Related: How will Prince Andrew pay for sex case settlement?

Tags: Prince Andrew

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