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Home Must Reads

American’s thread about strange British traits goes viral but do you agree

Signing “sincerely” in an email means “f*ck off”.Saying “f*ck off” in a pub means “I appreciate our friendship” 98% the time and 2% of the time it is a precursor to violence.

Joe Mellor by Joe Mellor
February 5, 2021
in Must Reads
Credit;PA

Credit;PA

An American who’s been living in the UK for 10 years has expressed what she sees as the traits we Brits do, that everyone else finds, well, a bit weird.

What we might call eccentric might just come across as plain odd to others.

Jessica Rose – @jesslynnrose on Twitter – took a bit of time out to list all of the things she still found ‘weird as hell’ about the UK.

‘I now live in Birmingham which I am firmly convinced is the nicest city in the world to live in,’ she says. ‘I work in tech and have very ugly cats.’

Her thread about our foibles has just gone viral on Twitter because it’s very funny and true.

Do you agree with these?

1.

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I have been living in the UK for 10 years this year. Please have a short thread of things that are still weird as hell to me 🧵

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

2.

British people have rising intonation when they say “bye” on the phone so it’s a bouncy “byYEEE” and why do you people do that?

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

3.

Please why beans on toast there are so many other lazy foods that are actually good why is this a thing?

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

4.

People here put fish fingers (yes they mean fish sticks but I’m fine w the name part) in sandwiches which is just…why.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

5.

Britishes pronounce “patronise” pat-row-nize but pronounce “patron” in the expected way and this divergence distresses me.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

6.

Britishes call their fanciest private schools public schools which is weird and confusing, likely by design.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

7.

British beaches are often just banks of sharp stones by the water and people here excitedly go to them on purpose. When you get there you can buy disappointing candy sticks called rock and seagulls will fight you.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

8.

They have proms here but they mean outdoor classic music things, not a school dance. Except now sometimes they have school dances called proms. I give up.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

9.

Signing “sincerely” in an email means “fuck off”.

Saying “fuck off” in a pub means “I appreciate our friendship” 98% the time and 2% of the time it is a precursor to violence.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

10.

If there is a mistake at a coffee shop or restaurant British people will complain to everyone but the people who could fix the issue and if asked by those people will report that everything is fine.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

11.

On getting off a bus saying thank you to the driver is optional until the person leaving in front of you says thank you. Then you are legally required to say it. So is everyone behind you.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

12.

90% of all public conflicts here are queue related. The other more serious 10% are about football or having the right shoes to get into a club.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

13.

People get full on arguing mad about the order you assemble breakfast items (when you put milk in when making tea or what you put first on a scone) and it does not matter at all.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

14.

If you mention swans to a British person they’ll tell you swans will break your arm and nod knowingly. No other information will be forthcoming on the topic.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

15.

Old fashioned candy shops here sell sweets with actively threatening names. Troach drops. Acid drops. Army and Navy tablets. They all taste like sugared houseplants.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

16.

Bathroom sink faucets in the UK often have two separate taps for the hot and cold water.

Why?

Fuck you, that's why.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

17.

If you mention a weird dream or nightmare, Britishes will ask if you ate a lot of cheese before going to bed.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

18.

Oh god, I almost forgot the round system for drinks.

On its surface, it's a commonly used system where everyone takes turns buying drinks for everyone else in their group but there are a million complex subtleties that make it confusing and delightful.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Related: Around 87 million pints of beer thrown away since Covid pandemic began

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