American’s thread about strange British traits goes viral but do you agree

I have been living in the UK for 10 years this year. Please have a short thread of things that are still weird as hell to me 🧵

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

British people have rising intonation when they say “bye” on the phone so it’s a bouncy “byYEEE” and why do you people do that?

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Please why beans on toast there are so many other lazy foods that are actually good why is this a thing?

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

People here put fish fingers (yes they mean fish sticks but I’m fine w the name part) in sandwiches which is just…why.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Britishes pronounce “patronise” pat-row-nize but pronounce “patron” in the expected way and this divergence distresses me.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Britishes call their fanciest private schools public schools which is weird and confusing, likely by design.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

British beaches are often just banks of sharp stones by the water and people here excitedly go to them on purpose. When you get there you can buy disappointing candy sticks called rock and seagulls will fight you.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

They have proms here but they mean outdoor classic music things, not a school dance. Except now sometimes they have school dances called proms. I give up.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Signing “sincerely” in an email means “fuck off”.

Saying “fuck off” in a pub means “I appreciate our friendship” 98% the time and 2% of the time it is a precursor to violence.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

If there is a mistake at a coffee shop or restaurant British people will complain to everyone but the people who could fix the issue and if asked by those people will report that everything is fine.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

On getting off a bus saying thank you to the driver is optional until the person leaving in front of you says thank you. Then you are legally required to say it. So is everyone behind you.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

90% of all public conflicts here are queue related. The other more serious 10% are about football or having the right shoes to get into a club.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

People get full on arguing mad about the order you assemble breakfast items (when you put milk in when making tea or what you put first on a scone) and it does not matter at all.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

If you mention swans to a British person they’ll tell you swans will break your arm and nod knowingly. No other information will be forthcoming on the topic.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Old fashioned candy shops here sell sweets with actively threatening names. Troach drops. Acid drops. Army and Navy tablets. They all taste like sugared houseplants.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Bathroom sink faucets in the UK often have two separate taps for the hot and cold water.

Why?

Fuck you, that's why.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

If you mention a weird dream or nightmare, Britishes will ask if you ate a lot of cheese before going to bed.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021

Oh god, I almost forgot the round system for drinks.

On its surface, it's a commonly used system where everyone takes turns buying drinks for everyone else in their group but there are a million complex subtleties that make it confusing and delightful.

— Jessica Rose (@jesslynnrose) February 4, 2021