"No wonder Armando Iannucci gave up writing new episodes of The Thick of It. How could you now hope to surpass the farce that actually passes for government in this country?", Paul Sweeney tweeted.
The prime minister insisted Britain and its allies will not “bargain away” the vision of a free Europe.
"Can we have a sense of proportion over the PM being given a piece of cake in his own office," Sir Edward Leigh implored.
"The PM clearly didn't organise to be given a cake," the transport secretary reasoned.
"Josephine sets a great example to us all by postponing her birthday party until we have sent coronavirus packing," the PM tweeted at the time.
“Regardless of any report, the Prime Minister clearly needs to resign. He’s lost all credibility.”
"Put it this way, if Boris Johnson i still prime minister by the end of the week, I'd be very surprised", one source said.
The deputy PM declined to confirm that Sue Gray's report will be published in full this week.
Just £1.4 billion will be available for bus "transformation" - less than half of what Johnson promised.