Count Binface seems to have already caught Nigel Farage on the hop in the Clacton by-election by actually announcing some policies for the constituency.
On August 13, the intergalactic space warrior from the plant Sigma IX will go up against Reform leader Farage in what looks set to be one of the most farcical votes in British political history.
There are some other joke candidates set to stand in the by-election such as the Monster Raving Looney Party, Piers Corbyn and Laurence Fox. But it’s the Count who has caught the national attention and looks set to be the main challenger to Farage.
Polling from earlier this month found that, when the nation is polled, Count Binface comes out on top against Farage.
But it is the people of Clacton and the people of Clacton alone who will decide who their next MP is.
READ NEXT: Nigel Farage roasted over Clacton by-election at Keir Starmer’s final PMQs
So, here are some policies from Binface for them to consider.
Sharing a ‘Binface pledge card’ on socials, Alastair Campbell said these promises would exploit Farage’s weaknesses.
Taking aim at Farage’s reluctance to spend time in Clacton or hold surgeries and controversies over secret donations from crypto billionaires, the pledges were as follows:
- I will hold weekly constituency surgeries
- I will answer all letters and emails within three days
- For every day I spend overseas, I will spend ten in Clacton
- Any outside earnings will be donated to Clacton charities
- On a postcode lottery basis, I will hekp one family per week put their bins out
Putting to one side the joke candidate aspect of Binface, it’s remarkable how these pledges would genuinely make him a better representative for the people of Clacton than Farage has ever been.
Something for residents there to consider…