Parliamentary Sketch 28th October – The sixth nonsense

By Joe Mellor, Deputy Editor

Who could you ask the same question six times to and not get an answer? I thought I would give it a try. I asked the bus driver which was the next stop, he told me on the first go, so I got on and sat down. It’s their job to know. If the bus drivers didn’t know they would get sacked.

But it appears it was Ok for the PM to not answer Corbyn six times on tax credit cuts today. He decided to pass the buck to the Chancellor and said he will tell us all in the autumn. “Just get on the bus son and let’s see where it takes us.”

Jeremy said even the right wing papers are skeptical about the tax credits changes. Later in the session Cameron said he spat out his cornflakes reading in the Mail about the proposed changes to porn access, but the only intercourse on display in the paper, is the PM on tax credits.

At the end of his set of questions Corbyn mentioned “Karen” and as they do every week, the Tories laughed. They might say it is aimed at Corbyn’s tactics, but it looks very much like hundreds of rosy-cheeked Tories guffawing at a voter’s plight, and reminds me why I could never vote Conservative.

Anyway, Karen works in the public sector and is worried how tax credit cuts will hurt her. The PM said, “What I would like to say to Karen is…you commie public sector leech, you won’t have a job come April.” Well of course he didn’t say that. He said Labour were “deficit deniers,” who print money and hike taxes. Deficit deniers like the Canadians?

Sad eyed Angus Roberston, SNP, asked about people who had committed suicide due to benefits cuts, and wanted to know when the findings will be published, Iain Duncan Smith wasn’t punching the air today. Luckily the PM said they couldn’t print the data because of personal medical details. We don’t need all that Dave; just the number of people who died due to benefits cuts.

Next Mark Pawsey, Con discussed “Ruby” (they are all at it now) a one month old, and why should she spend her life paying off the national debt? It seemed a lot for a newborn to take on, the one with the smallest shoulders…

The PM said Ruby should care, and Labour were “selfish.” To be fair Cameron looked uncomfortable today like he needed burping. Ruby hasn’t got time for that – she has an economy to save.

But the most hilarious “real person” was from Graham Evans, Con, who said “John” wrote, “We should stick to the Long Term Economic Plan, a higher wage, low tax economy,” EXACTLY what the Tories bang on about every week.

The PM said “John has made more sense in that question than Corbyn made in six,” Well you would say that, as you probably got one of your minions to e-mail in.

Before I finish, just time for a special mention for Rupa Huq, Lab, who asked if the PM was a feminist? He said, “If feminism means people are treated equally then yes, a third of the cabinet are women.” If that numerical error wasn’t enough, he went on to patronisingly to thank Rupa for the work she had done, which came across as pretty damn sexist.

I don’t care where the bus is going; I just want to get off.

Sycophantic question of the day

Stephen Metcalfe, Con, who said one in ten tractors in the world is made in Basildon. The PM said that due to the Corbyn’s love of the Soviet Union he should love the tractor statistics. I wonder which one-party state’s metal will be used to make the tractors in future though?

Winner

 Corbyn