Jeremy Clarkson has mulled a move abroad, saying that the UK has a “broken future full of nothing but taxation, crime, and disease”.
He described the economy as “flatlining”, with a “stagnant” housing market and said the police force are “ineffective”.
“It’s easy to convince yourself that Britain is now an unsalvageable basket case, a country that’s slipped into a pair of Fairy Liquid butter trousers and is currently hurtling down the slide of doom into a broken future full of nothing but taxation, crime and disease,” he wrote in his column in the Sunday Times.
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The former Top Gear presenter went on to ponder his options for relocation.
He ruled out Australia, New Zealand and the US, despite being “obvious choices”, as he claimed the paperwork to get visas are “tiresome”.
After considering other options such as Switzerland, Croatia, France, Spain and Portugal, Clarkson declared that Dubai was one of his best bets – where he could be neighbours with another proud patriot Isabel Oakeshott.
“No income tax. Petrol 50p a litre. The police do what they’re supposed to do and it’s sunny most of the time.
“What’s not to like? I used to enjoy Dubai back in the early Nineties when there were no people in it and only one hotel. But today, it feels like the bastard love child of Las Vegas and Mickey Mouse.”
Despite his grumbles, Clarkson conceded that it is better to stay in the UK than move away.
“If you move abroad, in three-and-a-half years you will be living in another country, and God knows what it will be like there then.
“Whereas if you stay here, in three-and-a-half years you’ll be surrounded by your friends and family. And the horror of [Keir] Starmer will have gone,” he claimed.
Clarkson also said that his 1,000-acre Diddly Squat Farm had suffered its “worst year ever”.
The Chipping Norton farm suffered from an outbreak of bovine tuberculosis, forcing it to go into lockdown.
Harvests also struggled due to heatwaves and droughts that have plagued the UK this summer.