"Next they'll tell us it's run on Windows 95 and they manually back it up on floppy disks each night."

It was found that the number of columns in the Excel spreadsheet had reached the maximum - leading to tens of thousands of cases going unreported.

"I adore Sainsbury's trifle, you can't beat it, but after this I will just have to go without it. I agree with Laurence completely."

“Every single person in the vehicle during that completely unnecessary presidential ‘drive-by’ just now has to be quarantined for 14 days. They might get sick. They may die. For political theatre."

The actor, who describes himself as a "Fierce Liberal", told his 238,000 Twitter followers that he'll never shop in Sainsbury's again.

Radical plans to overhaul the system will "turn the clock back on 50 years of progress", human rights groups say.

“Love is love. Know what we mean?”, they added.

"When it’s all over and we look back and reflect, we will actually be extremely proud of ourselves", Lord Bethell said.

"As Conservatives, we do not measure the depth of our compassion in two hundred and eighty characters on Twitter, but in the actions we take and the choices we make", she said.