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Home Satire

‘You Sing It’ Say Music Fans

A prominent pop group were left red faced after a full-to-capacity arena retaliated to commands to ‘sing it’ with deadly silence. The group, who had only been on stage for ten minutes, faced a fierce backlash from the crowd after crescendoing into a power chorus only to be met with boos and jeers when they […]

Jack Peat by Jack Peat
2016-03-11 14:29
in Satire
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A prominent pop group were left red faced after a full-to-capacity arena retaliated to commands to ‘sing it’ with deadly silence.

The group, who had only been on stage for ten minutes, faced a fierce backlash from the crowd after crescendoing into a power chorus only to be met with boos and jeers when they pointed the mic in their direction.

Reporters on the ground say fans were protesting to a 50 per cent increase in the cost of gig tickets which has coincided with groups singing half as much. Resentment towards bands that play “narratively styled instrumentals” and “cathartic mini-symphonies” has also been growing, with the simple verse and chord structure becoming as unfashionable as the 4-4-2.

Pat Kennerd, founder of advocacy group You Sign We Pay, said “Pop groups today are getting away with murder.

“I’ve been to three concerts this week and every one of the bands pussied out when it came to the chorus. They just point the mic at the fans and shout ‘Sing’ instead.

“You fucking SING IT!”

Kennerd, who also fronts tribute act Lez Zeppelin and tours solo as Blobbie Williams, is encouraging fans to come and see the ‘real deal’ when he plays at the Conservative Club on Saturday night.

“You won’t see me skip a chorus,” he added, “I’ve told the club to pay me by word to make sure of it.”

“I suggest we pay the Biebers and Directioners of this World in the same way.”

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