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The ship should be stocking British chippies with whitefish, but it can't go anywhere because there's no quota left to fish.

“You wouldn’t think the Home Office would have a sense of humour, but under official observations, they’ve just listed him as Bear.”

The health secretary also personally responded to the person who suggested he gets fired out of a cannon to raise money for the NHS.

Suggestions submitted to the NHS 'Change' website include harnessing the passive aggressive energy of GP receptionists and replacing ambulance sirens with healthy eating advice.

Peter Lynch, of Burman Road, in Wath-upon-Dearne, had three grandchildren was described by his barrister as "very caring".

'You committed genocide against our people'

The school has warned parents that they will shoulder the full burden of Labour's 20 per cent VAT levy.

The existing railway between Colwich Junction and Crewe is one of the worst bottlenecks on the West Coast Main Line.

She pleaded guilty at Northampton Crown Court last month to the charges.