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Count Binface comes up with ingenious Trident solution

Count Binface has come up with an ingenious solution to the Trident problem which could save taxpayers hundreds of billions of pounds.

Opposition parties have called for assurances over the effectiveness of Britain’s nuclear deterrent after “concerning” reports about a missile test failure.

The Ministry of Defence (MoD) has confirmed an “anomaly occurred” during an exercise that took place on January 30 on board the nuclear-powered submarine HMS Vanguard.

Officials said they could not say any more because the incident relates to national security.

But they said there remained “absolute confidence” in Britain’s constant at-sea nuclear deterrent and that it continues to be “secure and effective”.

An intergalactic politician, meanwhile, has argued that he has the solution to the ongoing fiasco.

Posting on X, he said: “Only one politician dares speak the truth, the whole truth and the whole misfiring truth about TRIDENT, and that is Count Binface!”

See what you think of the proposal below:

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Jack Peat

Jack is a business and economics journalist and the founder of The London Economic (TLE). He has contributed articles to VICE, Huffington Post and Independent and is a published author. Jack read History at the University of Wales, Bangor and has a Masters in Journalism from the University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

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