A Brian Bilston poem on his dislike of the Daily Mail is making the rounds on social media after it was picked up by pro-European groups.
The verse, which is taken from the book You Took the Last Bus Home, lists the many things he’d rather do than read the Mail, which is considered a bastion of the right-wing press.
Bilston says he would rather be “swallowed by a humpback whale than have to read the Daily Mail”, before going on to say that even if he “were blind and it was the only thing in Braille”, he “still would not read the Daily Mail”.
Check the poem out in full below:
HOW MUCH I DISLIKE THE DAILY MAIL
I would rather
eat Quavers that are six week’s stale,
blow dry the hair of Gareth Bale,
listen to the songs of Jimmy Nail,
than read one page of the Daily Mail.
If I were bored
in a waiting room in Perivale,
on a twelve hour trip on British rail
or a world circumnavigational sail,
I would not read the Daily Mail.
I would happily read
the complete works of Peter Mayle,
the autobiography of Dan Quayle,
selected scripts from Emmerdale,
but I couldn’t ever read the Daily Mail.
Far better to
stand outside in a storm of hail,
be blown out to sea in a powerful gale
then swallowed by a humpback whale
than have to read the Daily Mail.
Even if
I were blind
and it was the only thing
in Braille,
I still would not read
the Daily Mail.