The Trainline has taken the unusual approach of advertising a three day train journey from Didcot in Oxfordshire to Kiev in its latest marketing push.
The campaign is filmed in Kiev Central Station by up-and-coming director Pedro Martin-Calero and features a British woman in a yellow cagoule directing a flustered detective on how to get to Oxfordshire.
Its cinematic spy chase is aimed at highlighting how the tech company makes journeys easier and more straightforward, but train fanatics have been quick to highlight the impracticality of the route.
According to Seat 61 it would take three days to reach Kiev by train from London, including stops in Berlin and Warsaw.
Although it’s impossible to compute the cost of the journey using The Trainline, a single ticket from London to Warsaw would cost €308 alone.
It would then be an overnight jaunt from Warsaw Centralna on the Kiev Express, where it’s advisable to “take your own supplies of food, water and wine or beer”.
You should also be prepared for a gauge change.
Late at night, around 00:30, the train is shunted into the gauge-changing shed at Yagodin (on the Ukrainian border) and jacked up to have its wheels changed from standard European (4′ 8½”) gauge to Russian 5′ gauge. You remain on board while this is done, which is “an interesting experience”, according to the Seat 61 reviewers.