Brace yourself, Britain — this may come as a shock. But here it is: not everyone likes dogs.
Yes, even in a country where we proudly dress them in tartan jumpers, buy them Christmas stockings, and let them lick our ice creams.
The UK is in the middle of a dog boom. In recent years, dog ownership has skyrocketed, with furry friends now appearing in just about every home, park, café, and social media feed. And while this surge has delighted breeders, pet shops, and anyone selling overpriced ‘paw balm’, it has also created a rapidly growing section of society: the people who are absolutely sick to the back teeth of dogs… or rather, dog owners.
The Bark Side of the Boom
Let’s start with the obvious: many dogs are loud. And in our polite, tea-drinking nation, noise complaints are going through the roof. The police and local councils are dealing with more barking complaints than ever – wasting millions of taxpayer money on settling disputes and dealing with selfish dog owners, and that’s before you factor in the canine karaoke happening outside pubs, in parks, on beaches, and (for reasons known only to the owners) during conference calls.
Then there’s the poo problem. In theory, every responsible owner carries a dog poo bag. In reality, many of these bags end up dangling from hedges like bizarre Christmas ornaments, or abandoned mid-footpath, as if the owner expected the Dog Poo Fairy to pop by. Others skip the bag altogether, leaving steaming “gifts” on beaches, footpaths, and in the middle of scenic hiking trails.
It’s hard to determine whether they believe that their poo filled bags will magically vanish (newsflash: even compostable bags take years to break down in very specific composting conditions), or that they are not one of hundreds of dog walkers accessing the same paths each day in the UK’s ever shrinking public access land.
Entitlement Unleashed
Perhaps the most grating trend is what some call ‘the dog owner entitlement complex’. These are the people who act outraged when told they can’t take their dog onto a children’s play area, a sports pitch, or a beach during summer.
You’ll also find them glaring in restaurants when staff suggest that perhaps their barking Cockapoo shouldn’t be parked under the next table during a romantic anniversary dinner. Or turning up to your house – without warning – with their ‘baby’ in tow, then looking shocked when you mention you have a cat, allergies, or a very expensive cream carpet.
Some even believe dogs should take precedence over other animals entirely. Your guinea pig? Irrelevant. Your chickens? Move them. Your toddler? Well, they’ll “just have to learn to love dogs.”
What about the owners that let their dogs jump at your face, caking your beige work trousers in filth with their muddy paws. “Oh, don’t mind Squiggles, he’s just saying ‘hello’!”.
Or those that allow their dogs to run 200m away from their non-existent recall to ravage the picnic that you spent six hours preparing.
The Training Gap
Of course, not every dog is a problem. And many ‘dog haters’ don’t really hate dogs at all. But part of the issue is that many people who shouldn’t own dogs now do. We’re talking about owners with no time, no patience, and absolutely no clue about training, who end up with animals that bark, jump, lunge, and generally treat the world like a chew toy.
It’s not really the dogs’ fault. It’s the humans who fail to teach them manners – then get defensive when anyone dares to complain.
A Growing Divide
So here we are: a nation split in two. On one side, dog lovers who can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t adore their four-legged friend. On the other, an increasingly peeved and vocal group who are, quite frankly, over it. And with dog ownership still on the rise, the great British dog debate is only going to get louder… and smellier.
In conclusion: love your dogs, yes. But train them. Keep them quiet in public spaces. Pick up after them. And please, for the love of all things decent – stop hanging poo bags in trees.
Because Britain has spoken, and while dogs might be man’s best friend… they’re also becoming everyone else’s worst neighbour.
Featured photo by Norbert Kundrak
Article originally published on National Daily Press