By Joe Mellor, Deputy Editor
This was the last PMQs before the referendum, what will the world be like on June 24th regardless of the result? Will there be pitched battles on the Thames, with rivals crashing their warships into each other?
Nope, they were doing that outside of Parliament today just as PMQs kicked off. Farage’s barge of swashbuckling Brexiteers were floating their flotilla down the Thames. In retaliation Bob Geldof’s Remain rafts hired a huge vessel and various small boats who nipped in between the Leave campaigners firing grapeshot (French grape shot).
However, was Farage arriving as Sir Francis Drake or Captain Blackbeard? Well they were both pirates, one robbed for Britain the other was just out for himself. I wonder which pirate Boris Johnson would be?
The only band aid on Geldof’s boat was Alistair Campbell (boom boom), and his motely crew. As they pulled up alongside HMS Farage he screamed “Farage you’re a fraud, you’re no fisherman’s friend!” while Bob’s PA system boom(towned) out “In with the In Crowd.” Charlotte Church was also there to take the microphone if Bob decided to try and sing.
In retaliation nautical Nigel sounded his horn to drown out the sounds of the stay ships. This wasn’t politics, this was a carnival, in fact more of a burlesque show in an S and M club featuring watersports, not that I’d know…
These were literally floating voters doing battle on the Thames. Citizens of dictatorial states in central Africa would be watching this on TV and shaking their heads at what they are witnessing. Geldof and Farage drawing cutlasses on the deck of the Vote leave boat, was within the realms of possibility, and that sums up the last few weeks. A campaign that has seen George Galloway and Nigel Farage laughing and joking together, nothing is impossible.
What of PMQs you ask? A lot of people said they love the EU, and a couple didn’t and a lot of people wore badges.
You could argue that the whole charade was to deflect attention from this PMQs, where almost everyone laid their EU love-in, on thick. Farage’s plan worked, but most of us switched off from the debate weeks ago with the succession of claims and counter claims to have found the route to treasure island. That ship sailed a long time ago.
Brexiteer watch
Walk out on the terrace and have a look.
Sycophantic question of the day
Pretty much every question praising the EU. It sounds a wonderful place to be, maybe they should have mentioned it earlier.
Winner
Cameron in the chamber, however, in the outside world he may be made to walk the plank, on the boat he built himself. HMS Votey Mcvotefarce.