Satire

Mass confusion as racists accidentally vote for closer ties to Middle East

By Tom Moore

Racists up and down the UK are today unsure what to think as the reality of ‘being free to negotiate deals with nations around the world’ becomes apparent.

There was an assumption amongst the racists that ‘other nations’ meant the US and Canada and possibly one or two South American countries, but the whiter ones like Argentina.

Theresa May has been spending time in Saudi Arabia and Qatar recently with the intention of securing partnerships and trade deals for post-Brexit Britain. With news of her visit trickling through to Britain’s racists yesterday, many are today seeking counsel from senior racist figures about how to think.

“I need to wait to see what Farage thinks of this” said Thomas Hayes, an EDL member from Stoke on Trent. “He’ll know what to think”.

Irrespective of Farage’s opinion on the matter there is a growing feeling of unease amongst Brexiters as the reality of what they voted for begins to sink in.

“I voted leave because it gave me the opportunity to discriminate against people on a mass scale very easily” said Thomas. “We could send a big fuck you to the Frogs, Krauts and Muslim immigrants in one fell swoop. It was glorious.”

“But now I see our Prime Minister swanning around the Middle East, kissing arse, and i’m not really sure what to think anymore. I generally prefer Europeans to them lot and if Brexit means we’ll have to bend over for the Saudi’s then I want back in.”

Although I did see that the namby pamby liberal snowflakes weren’t happy so maybe I am ok with it.”

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