Categories: Satire

Hillary’s chance of becoming president ‘severely hit’ after doctors confirm she is in fact, a woman.

Hillary Clinton’s chances of becoming President suffered a huge blow last night after doctors confirmed she did not even have a penis. The news comes after months of allegations by Hilary’s challenger for the Whitehouse, Donald Trump, who said that she was not fit to become president on account of her not being a man.

Trump said “People, people, I have been saying for some time that Hillary Clinton is not the right man for the job. And now it has been confirmed by medical science. This is now fact people. And if my experience of women is anything to go by, and believe me I’ve got a lot of experience with women, then how is she going to find time to run the country when she’s lying in a hospital bed recovering from plastic surgery or issuing divorce proceedings against her husband?”

Trump’s team is set to use the revelations to appeal to a large majority of misogynistic bigots who they see as crucial in securing his victory in the presidential campaign. Hillary was the clear frontrunner after a disastrous few months for Trump but this news may just shift the balance back in his favour.

“The warning signs we there people. Hilary has persistently shown signs of being a woman throughout her life. She has been reasonable, rational, pragmatic and has not even made any huge generalisations or massive exaggerations. She doesn’t boast about being wealthy, she doesn’t talk about her penis in public and she is not flippant about the subject of rape. You have to ask yourself what kind of president would she make.”

Trump then added: “People have called me sexists in the past, which I find ridiculous. It’s Hillary that has the problem. She’s a woman, and not even an attractive one at that.”

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