Lads. He’s got a bin on his head. How can you let yourself get rattled to this extent? In the days since Count Binface emerged as the only credible challenger to Nigel Farage (amazing sentence, this) in the Clacton by-election, the reaction has been seismic.
ALSO READ: Head-to-head IPSOS poll gives Count Binface a 12-point lead over Nigel Farage
Clacton by-election – who is standing?
None of the major parties are standing a candidate in the race Nigel Farage himself declared. His resignation as an MP, only to immediately announce his candidacy for the subsequent by-election, has been branded a political stunt from all corners. No-one wants to indulge him.
This is new ground for Nigel. He’s become quite adept at setting the political discourse, and getting the rest to dance to his tune. His interventions in the last decade have shaped the major talking points for national policy. But, on this occasion, it hasn’t worked. And he’s got the election he deserves.
Count Binface has a history of running in high-profile contests. Before challenging Andy Burnham and Reform in Makerfield last month, he had gone toe-to-toe with Sadiq Khan and Boris Johnson in their respective runs for office. The attention on Mr Binface now, however, is unlike anything else.
Count Binface may not be the real ‘novelty candidate’
He may be the novelty candidate. But make no mistake, this is a novelty election. Rupert Lowe, leader of Restore Britain and a fierce critic of his former colleague Nigel Farage, was the first to point out the lunacy of it all – stating that a SECOND by-election looms for Clacton after this.
By the letter of the law, he could be right. Farage’s resignation has put a temporary half to the Parliamentary probe into his £5 million gift from Christopher Harborne. However, that is likely to resume once he’s re-elected. And, if found guilty, Clactonites will be heading to the polls once more.
This has laid fertile ground for farce. This has led us to the point where it’s Farage vs Binface. An election for the nonsensical, chaotic times we live in. And yet, in his first few days on the campaign trail, the rank outsider has hit all the right notes during his plethora of media appearances.
ALSO READ: Odds on Count Binface winning Clacton by-election SLASHED by bookies
What is in the Count Binface Manifesto
His tongue-in-cheek policies, ranging from his pledge to build exactly one affordable house to capping the price of Flake 99s at 99 pence, have now gained nationwide traction. Debates about whether he could wear his costume in Parliament have sent eyes – and more importantly, ‘view totals’ – rolling.
Count Binface is a very clippable candidate. He is a wry character, and although his satirical swipes fall short of the ‘biting’ threshold, they are enough to hold court in the attention economy. If a bloke in a suit calls Nigel Farage a charlatan, it’s par for the course. It’s very different reaction when *this guy* does it.
The Count’s sense of humour has been derided as ‘pure centrist dad’. And that’s probably a fair cop. It’s largely inoffensive, ‘early 2010s internet’ quips that dominate his soundbites. But either way, it’s pretty clear this candidate is the subversive punchline of this whole affair. Anyone can see that.
Can’t they?
Maybe we should legalise comedy…
Well, not the right-wing commentators. Quite a few of them have took Count Binface to heart. Serious deconstructions of his policies have begun in earnest. You know, the bloke who is promising to move a hand-dryer in his local pub. That’s who titles like The Telegraph are doing poe-faced think pieces on.
He might not be delivering belly-laughs. But that’s not really the point. Binface exists as a critique, as a figure who stands against, rather than stands for. He’s also not the one who has caused this situation. If you want to get upset at a candidate for belittling the sanctity of our politics, it’s not this fella.
Binface hasn’t caused irreparable damage to the economy through a chronically dishonest anti-EU campaign. He hasn’t been taking multi-million pound sweeteners and failing to declare them. He hasn’t been using his platform to stoke division and disunity. These are the things which facilitate his existence.
Right-wing commentators become the punchline in Clacton farce
With that in mind, there has certainly been some… takes… on the whole affair this weekend. Count Binface’s ultimate victory is becoming worthy enough for critical assessment. Given his whole shtick, you have to say, that’s f*****g funny. Some of the commentary has been unreal…
“Capping the price of a kebab is not a brave take on a glaring policy failure. It is what every half-wit who refuses to understand economics would do. The result would be a massive kebab-shortage, because it would no longer be worth producers’ effort to sell them.” | Daniel Hannan, The Telegraph
Bin on his head, mate.
“By dressing up as both a bin and an intergalactic traveller in time and space, Binface might seem to outflank Farage as an ‘outsider’. But his actual policy proposals, are distinguishable from those of Starmer’s front bench only by the slightly muffled delivery occasioned by his stupid prosthetic head.”
“Count Binface is not funny. He is the establishment candidate in Clacton. Oh yes. And he’s also a c**t.” | Simon Evans, Spiked
Bin on his head, mate.
“The character doesn’t even work as a coherent joke. If he’s a space alien, why is he dressed as a medieval knight? I guess that’s all part of the ker-aaaaaziness. He feels like the final destination of what passes today for British satire, an unfunny joke with no point.” | Gareth Roberts, The Telegraph
Bin on his head, mate.
A mess of Nigel Farage’s own making
It’s such an unedifying way to get rattled. Nigel Farage is winning this non-election at a canter, then we can do it all again with some actual challengers. Maybe it’s not that deep. But also, we do have to acknowledge that there will be losers in this race. And it is the people of Clacton.
There have been no known in-person surgeries in two years here. Their representative is a fleeting figure within the constituency. It’s hard to recall a time where the former (and most likely next) MP for Clacton did something to put the place on the map for something other than his own activities.
So yes, there is something to begrudge about this whole thing. But the fact of the matter is, the man pretending to be an eight-foot extra-terrestrial doesn’t even come close to being the most farcical thing about this by-election.
(And don’t point out the irony of us doing a piece on people taking Count Binface too sincerely and using 1,100 words to do so. We’re already there…)