Boring, isn’t it? Pretending Christmas is getting banned every year. Not for right-wing Twitter accounts, though. They love it. Hell, the ones with blue ticks can even make money off it. It’s a pretty sweet gig if you can monetise being in a constant state of offence, no matter how tedious it seems.
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It’s silly season! And Tesco are in the crosshairs…
The latest claim is an absolute classic of the genre. Right up there with ‘Muslims want to turn Buckingham Palace into a Mosque’ and ‘You can’t even call them Easter Eggs any more’. Joining the pantheon of made-up bollocks on social media that boils the piss of the woke-right is this little number…
“Tesco are no longer celebrating Christmas. They don’t even call them Christmas trees anymore”.
What’s brilliant about this steaming-hot serving of utter shite is how very easily disprovable it all is. The commotion started when one of those accounts – you know, the self-styled ‘patriotic’ type that also happens to hate everything about Britain – shared a picture of an ‘Evergreen Conifer’ in the shop.
The account raged, stating that there had been a complete renaming of Christmas materials, and that Tesco would no longer be celebrating the festive season. And fair enough, plenty of digitally illiterate users lapped it all up.
There have been calls for boycotts. Some have branded it ‘Utter Woke Nonsense’, a phrase which has lost all meaning unless it is accompanied by an image of Sean Dyche standing against a green wall. Others have responded by making up their own things to get mad at…
“Next you’ll be calling Christmas pudding winter fruit cake”, someone chimes in with.
Brilliant. No doubt that’s now going to be a scenario that gets repeated as gospel somewhere, and drip fed into workplace and pub anecdotes for weeks on end. Excellent, healthy society we’ve got here.
‘X are banning Y’… please get a new grift
But it’s all just made-up half-wittery. Not to promote any supermarket in particular, but do you know how easy it is to just go on Tesco’s website and type in the word “Christmas”? Or just clock that they have a “Christmas” section on their homepage? About 4,600 items on there, by the way.
Or, something which might be a job too far for these right-wing ragebait dafties… just leave your house and actually go into Tesco? You’ll see the word Christmas more times than should be legally possible. Utterly maddening, truth be told, when its November and you’ve only popped in for carrots.
The ‘Evergreen Conifer’ mystery, by the way, has been solved. We didn’t need Shaggy and Scooby for it either. ‘Evergreen Conifer’ is the name of the tree that is branded as a Christmas Tree. It wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t that deep. It didn’t warrant 317,000 views (and counting) online.
Susan Hall falls for Tesco Christmas hoax. Because, of course…
No, Christmas isn’t being ‘de-celebrated’. No supermarket chain in the right mind would take a look at the opportunity to soullessly squeeze every drop of festive merriment out of consumers by blanking the biggest consumerist event of the year. In what world, lads? In what world.
But look. There are people in this country with genuine concerns. They wonder why their wages aren’t covering the things they used to. They wonder why things are so unequal. And they wonder why Britain doesn’t feel like Britain sometimes. So things like this can rub folk up the wrong way.
However, there’s a counter-point to this counter-point. People like Susan Hall – the Conservative candidate in the 2024 London Mayoral election – should not be getting hoodwinked by any of this. You can’t run London if you can’t pass question one on the common sense test. Come on, now…
