Satire

School children “f*cking love the EU” as there’s no green veg left in shop

School children across the UK are celebrating that they can eat chips, loads of chips without having awful lettuce, cabbage, and courgettes stuffed into their gobs, due to a shortage from the EU.

Tom, 7, from Aldershot has been snap chatting his mates pictures of chips, just loads and loads of chips, who have returned the favour. He said: “I over the fucking moon about this, I love the EU.”

Sarah, 8, said: “My Dad hates Europeans but my teacher said it was a shortage of veg from Spain that has meant I can eat chips, just CHIPS, so I love them to bits.

“I want to move to Europe now, but I’ve heard the new TTTP deal we will sign with the US after we trigger article 50, will mean we have to buy green veg from the Americans (I heard their new boss sounds like a fart), but it is also washed with arsenic or something, which sounds horrendous. Bring back horrible Spanish veg, all is forgive.”

Kids say the shrewdest things.

Published by