Categories: Satire

“Could be worse” falls into disuse

The expression “it could be worse” has officially fallen into disuse after Britain hit rock bottom.

According to the Oxford Dictionary of Sayings the current political impasse has left the UK in such disarray that there is literally no way things could be worse as things stand.

As such expressions such as “it could be worse”, “look on the bright side” and “it’s better than a slap in the face with a wet fish” now have little relevance in the country, and have been retired from everyday use.

Commenting on the announcement, Professor Sprog of Oxford University’s Popular Sayings department said: “We have been observing a gradual erosion of expressions that denote feelings of resilience and hope since the referendum in 2016.

“But following last night’s vote and with Brexit effectively facing an impossible gridlock, most of them have now fallen into “Could be worse” falls into disuse.

“It would seem most Brits would indeed prefer to be slapped around the face with a wet fish than observe events in parliament.

“That is consistent with research that shows things officially could not be worse and there is in fact no bright side to this situation”.

Research of a nationally representative panel of Britons revealed eight in ten now believe things are as bad as they could get.

Given the option, three-quarters of Brits would take a swift slap to the face with a wet trout over enduring more Brexit tomfoolery and only eight per cent of the entire sample believe a “bright side” still exists.

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Jack Peat

Jack is a business and economics journalist and the founder of The London Economic (TLE). He has contributed articles to VICE, Huffington Post and Independent and is a published author. Jack read History at the University of Wales, Bangor and has a Masters in Journalism from the University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

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