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The Five Points In Our Lives When We Need A Mental Health MOT

Every Brit should undergo an annual mental health MOT, one of the country’s top psychotherapists has claimed.

Graham Johnston, a former Government home affairs advisor, suggests a yearly check-over should be essential in the same way cars have to have an MOT.

One in four Brits experiences mental health problems every year and 91 million working days per year are lost through mental health struggles, according to UK charity the Mental Health Foundation.

Research by the Institute for Public Policy Research found the onset of a mental illness led to a drop in earnings of roughly £1,700 for the individual affected, and an average drop of £1,200 for those living in the same household.

Johnston, who is the co-founder of The London Centre for Applied Psychology (LCAP), which trains fellow mental health professionals, said: “It’s all about maintenance and getting ahead of the curve.

“Just like we take our car to the garage every year to ensure everything’s still roadworthy and in good working order, we should do the same for our mental health.

“Having a yearly mental health MOT, so to speak, will ensure that you are running well mentally and emotionally while spotting and dealing with any issues that might become a problem later on if unaddressed.

“Going for an MOT, or check-up with your GP, is a normal part of life, and caring for our mental wellbeing shouldn’t be any different.

”Nipping in the bud any potential mental health problems such as depression, relationship issues, grief, or confidence issues will lead to significant savings in the long term.”

Johnston points out we shouldn’t put off seeing a therapist until our problems are already getting on top of us.

Unfortunately, with waiting times of between six months and two years for an NHS therapist, many people will need to go private.

And with the average cost of therapy ranging from anywhere between £50 to £250 per one-hour session, seeing a therapist won’t be cheap.

But LCAP co-founder and psychotherapist Matt Wotton, who prior to becoming a psychotherapist advised government ministers on mental health and other issues in the criminal justice system, said: “Not only will it avoid the need for extended periods of therapy down the line, but also it will also help avoid mental health issues getting to the point where you need to take time off work.

“Prevention is certainly better than the cure when it comes to the cost of therapy.

“The bills can quickly rack up when dealing with serious, long-standing issues, potentially costing the patient many hundreds, or even thousands, of pounds in regular therapy sessions over a period of time.

“And mental health issues are one of the leading causes of long-term absences from work, impacting people’s income and further compounding the stress they are under.

“A yearly mental health MOT, by contrast, may only require one or a small series of sessions with a therapist to ensure you are in the right place mentally to take the next step in your life.

“For the same price as a decent meal or the ticket to the best show in town, you can ensure you’re well placed to thrive with whatever life throws your way, be that in your career, in your relationships, or as a parent.”

Johnston and Wotton — whose new practical guide to finding a good-quality private therapist, A Straight Talking Introduction to Therapy: What It Is, Why It Works, How To Get It, hits the shelves this week — have identified five key periods during our life when a mental health MOT should not be missed.

Psychotherapists Graham Johnston (left) and Matt Wotton are the co-founders of The London Centre for Applied Psychology (LCAP), which provides evidence-based training to fellow mental health professionals.

Your 18th Birthday

“The big first challenge comes when we are entering the adult world, with the apron strings being cut and many people facing the realities of living independently for the first time.

“For many of us, hitting 18 means we are going off to university and the parenting safety net is being taken away.

“Things have suddenly become real and we need to fend for ourselves for the first time, dealing with budgeting and bills while being entirely responsible for our daily schedule.

“It’s the stress of growing up and while some young people can’t wait to fly the nest, many will find it difficult to cope with the sudden pressures and expectations.

“Therapy isn’t all about resolving depression; often it’s about preparing ourselves mentally for the challenges ahead.

“A mental health MOT in the run-up to university will do wonders, helping anticipate what it will be like living independently and setting out strategies to deal with the demands effectively.

“Part of this may involve learning to cope with feelings of loneliness or isolation and reminding the client that while it’s natural to miss their parents, their friends, and their pets, they will soon make new friends on campus.”

Moving In Together

“Preparing yourself mentally for cohabiting is the same as preparing yourself for a long journey: you want to make sure that your car’s engine isn’t going to blow halfway through or find that the tyres burst.

“When a couple moves in together, they are taking on shared responsibilities and obligations that weren’t there before, such as making sure the utility bills, monthly rent or mortgage repayments are met.

“They are also now bound with each other and all those little niggles, such as having different views on keeping the home tidy, staying out late with friends or work colleagues, or having the parents over every Sunday, can escalate into rows and all-out conflict if not handled well.

“Here, a mental health MOT prior to packing your belongings for the big move will help you mentally adjust from two individuals to a loving partnership, identifying the potential future frictions and defusing them before they ever emerge.

“In couples therapy we often hear partners say they argue over seemingly trivial things, such as leaving coffee cups by the dishwasher, but behind it is the much more serious issue of emotional communication.

“If you move in together with contrasting opinions about how things should be done, you are setting yourself up for problems. One or both partners will eventually feel they are not being listened to, respected, or taken seriously.

“It’s much more difficult to help a couple already teetering on the edge so talking through these issues ahead of time, building in compromise and a willingness to let things go on each side, will result in a more robust and rewarding relationship in the years to come.”

A Straight Talking Introduction to Therapy is the A to Z route map to finding the right private therapist.

Starting A Family

“Divorce rates shoot up after the birth of a first child and often this is because couples expect it to be a fun experience that will bond them together even more when, in reality, it’s going to be hard work that threatens to push them apart.

“The first bump in the road can happen during pregnancy, when changes to the woman’s body can leave each partner feeling differently about sex, with the risk of neither getting their needs met.

“After giving birth, women inevitably put the needs of their newborn first. Men, meanwhile, may feel like a spare wheel in those first few weeks.

“Add to this night after night of broken sleep and the possibility of either partner developing post-natal depression and you start to see why having a child can be a crisis point for every relationship, however strong before.

“As the child grows, the problem tends to shift to disagreements between the parents about how to raise their offspring. One may want them to go to private school, for example, while the other is dead against fee-paying education, or they might differ on how to discipline them.

“It’s not uncommon for couples to conclude that they made the wrong choice in their partner, but therapy can help tremendously by establishing proper communication.

“It’s all about learning to see things from the other person’s point of view and replacing criticism with appreciation and compromise.

“This may seem like simple advice but then again so are the instructions for walking a tightrope, just putting one leg after the other until you reach the other end.

“In the heat of the moment, staying calm and reasoned is very difficult to achieve so becoming comfortable with a new way of thinking well in advance will reap dividends later on.”

Middle Age

“It’s only when we reach middle age that we really get the wake-up call that life is short and there is such a thing as mortality.

“Those feelings of invincibility when we were young can’t withstand the facts that our bodies are slowing down, our parents are getting older and frailer, and we haven’t achieved those big career goals we set down in our 20s.

“Conversely, we sometimes have clients who have become wealthy high-flyers, but they are now questioning if all that personal sacrifice was worth it.

“Yes, they are absurdly successful, but they weren’t there to see their kids grow up and have become distanced from their spouse, being too busy with meetings and conferences around the world.

“Without therapy, those disappointments and worries can grow into full-blown depression and despondency.

“We can’t turn back the clock but though confronting mortality and giving yourself permission to adjust your attitudes and expectations, you can keep a positive outlook on life through your middle years and into old age.

“A therapist will help in reframing priorities so you can see the bigger picture, focus on what really matters, and settle into the new reality of middle age without a massive bump.

Retirement is one of five key points in our lives when we could most benefit from a mental health MOT, according to psychotherapist Graham Johnston.

Retirement

“There’s no escaping the fact that once we hit retirement and beyond in our 60s, we will find things that we used to enjoy are now off the menu.

“You may no longer be able to play your favourite sport because of back problems, for instance, but that doesn’t mean that you are now just waiting to die.

“It may seem that way when the things you identified as making life worth living are being taken away, but therapy will help in flipping this negative, destructive mindset on its head.

“What we are dealing with is grief, mourning what we can no longer do. As with any form of grief therapy, talking through these feelings will help resolve them and with the aim of reframing old age as a concentration of life rather than a contraction.

“It’s important for mental wellbeing to concentrate on what we can still do and make the most of those things.

“For instance, you might not be able to manage a daily jog anymore but you can still enjoy the great outdoors at a more leisurely pace.”

A Straight Talking Introduction to Therapy: What It Is, Why It Works, How To Get It by Matt Wotton & Graham Johnston (PCCS Books) is out now on Amazon in paperback and eBook formats, priced £12.99. For more information visit www.lcap.co.uk.

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