Jon Snow is odds-on favourite to take the vacant managerial position at Manchester United after resigning as Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch.
Despite admitting to “knowing nothing” about the game, the United board has seen fit to take Snow over the hugely experienced José Mourinho, who said he is “heart broken” by the decision in a two-page long sonnet to the board.
But they were quick to point out the similarities between the two managers. Like Mourinho, Snow left The Wall after loosing the dressing room, being stabbed by his Night’s Watch brothers including the young and impressionable Olly, who bears a similar mental maturity as John Terry.
Commenting on the appointment, Joel Glazer said: “After enduring two dull-as-fuck seasons under Van Gaal we were keen to bring in someone with an attacking mentality. And what says ‘attacking’ more than leading an offensive at the massacre at Hardhome?
“He is a driven individual with a proven track record on the battlefield which will bring much-needed fight to this bunch of over-paid nitwits”.
Snow is expected to bring Sam Tarly as assistant manager, meaning there’s no space for Ryan Giggs in the new set up.
Speaking to the media he said he is excited about the new challenge, but mainly about the boy’s pre-season jolly to Dublin, which he’s heard is full of “ginger wildling birds”.
