An Idiot’s Adventures In Gameland – Steve McNeil

#7: Bovril, Pyjamas and an Anxious Cat

Hello, dear reader, it’s good to be back. I missed you desperately while I was away last week. I mean, I didn’t. I was having a lovely time in Devon. It was really nice. And you didn’t even notice I’d gone. But still, it’s the sort of thing we say to be polite, isn’t it? Manners are so important…

Anyway, what have I been up to this week? I’ve been sending myself insane at home. For those of you who watch Ginx TV (Virgin Media 286) you might have caught the show Minecraft: Digging Deeper, as part of their Indie-Pendence Day celebrations on July 4th. The show was a half-hour compilation of several features I’ve written for the channel about everyone’s favourite cube simulator – stuff like this:

The plan now is to make a whole series of these shows, which means I need to write a total of 30 ‘segs’ about the game – the 4-and-a-half minute segments of videogaming stuff that form the building blocks (OMG BLOCKS LIKE IN MINECRAFT LOLZ) of much of the channel’s content.

Now, I LOVE Minecraft. Really, REALLY love it. But it turns out it’s almost impossible to spend every waking moment for a whole week writing about ANYTHING without slightly losing your marbles, regardless of how much you love it. Or maybe it’s just me?

At one point, I found myself in my pyjamas, drinking Bovril from a cracked mug, whilst dancing to an imaginary song I had made up in my head – the lyrics of which were ‘craft’ and ‘mine’ – to the disinterested audience of one that was my ever-anxious ginger cat, George. This moment is only remarkable in the sense of just how unremarkable it is within the context of the many odd moments I’ve found myself in during this self-imposed exile to crazy land.

Don’t get me wrong though, I know I’m really lucky. I’m essentially getting paid to play, and write about, what is possibly my favourite video game of all time. Technically, I’m even getting paid to perform improvised musicals to animals. It’s incredible. If you ever catch me moaning about ANYTHING, show me this article and then fart on me. It’s what that ungrateful prick will deserve.

Once I gained my composure, I did eventually manage to pull together a structure for each episode, and then the individual items to cover within each segment. I’ve not actually filled many of those in with ‘content’ yet, but it feels like the hard work has been done. I mean, although I haven’t written 70 words about Automated Chicken Farms or Nether Portals yet, I at least now know that’s something I’ll need to do. And 70 words isn’t much at all – I mean, I’ve written nearly 500 here already, without saying anything of value. I’m as surprised as you are that they keep letting me do this.

Anyhoo, all being well, the series should be written, recorded and edited by the end of August, so hopefully you’ll get your eyes on it in the Autumn. If you don’t, we can all assume I just completely lost it and began touring the nation’s back alleys with my one-man musical for cats.

Next week’s gearing up to be one of the busiest ever so if you fancy hearing about that – though I’ve no idea why you would (seriously, have most people who write these sorts of things successfully deluded themselves that their wittering is of some value to others?) – come back next week.

See you next Friday, or, CUNF!

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