Miles Reucroft is undertaking a different way of playing the ever popular Fantasy Football this season. To understand his methodology, read part one here. The Week 1 review is here, Week 2 transfers & preview here, Week 3 preview here, Week 4 preview here, Week 5 preview here, Week 6 preview here, Week 7 preview here, Week 8 preview here, Week 9 preview here, Week 10 preview here, Week 11 preview here. Week 12 preview here. Week 13 preview here. Week 14 preview here. Week 15 here. Week 16 here. Week 17 here. Week 18 here. Week 19 here. Week 20 here. Week 21 here. Week 22 here. Week 23 here. Week 24 here. Week 25 here.
We all needed a bit of a break. We were in turmoil before the break. In truth, we’re still in turmoil after the break, but the mental wounds have healed slightly. Our efforts to finish in the top one million are all but in tatters, our talisman is brokenand our morale is shattered. There was only one thing for it – the Costa del Sol.
There were no stolen taxis. There were no fights. There was no sordid business. Instead, FC Fakin‘ Run Aboutabit got its collective head together and deigned to fight for every point until the season’s end.
I myself took a bit of time out. I didn’t watch any of the international fixtures and I didn’t unduly worry about the sorry state of my side. I have lead us into this mess and I sit here now, knowing exactly how Alan Pardew feels. The sweet release of the season’s end will soon be upon us, Chunky.
I had already done my fretting. Our one ever present, our captiain, our inspiration, was broken. Harry Kane is almost irreplaceable and his absence will sting. I got on the blower to Gary, our player agent, as soon as the news was confirmed.
“I can get you £12.6m,” he says. I have no choice but to agree to the terms.
“Get the deal done,” I sigh.
Harry was distraught. He still believed that we could make the top one million. Poor, sweet Harry.
I brought in Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to replace him. Of course, ‘replace’ is an empty word in this instance. Aubameyang will bring pace and, hopefully, goals, but he won’t bring leadership and he won’t bring the same all-round game that Harry possesses. Still, who doesn’t love a rangy striker with a dodgy hair line?
As Pierr-Emerick signs on, our captaincy shifts to our long-time vice-captain, KdB.
One thing that came out of our Spanish excursion was how keenly everyone missed Dave Silva. His passing, his positioning, his reading of the game. His smile.
“Keep this under wraps, Gary, but how much could you get Dave Silva back in for?” I ask. The Kane out for £12.6m, Aubameyang in for £10.6m has left me with a healthy slush fund of £3.2m.
Yes, the defence needs sorting. Desperately. But so does morale. What could Dave bring to the squad? We’ve lost a leader, so wouldn’t it be great to regain one?
“I’ve made some calls,” says Gary the following day. “Dave misses you, too. He’d rejoin ‘in a heartbeat.’ He’s employers aren’t so keen, but hand me £8.1m and I’ll get him in.”
My heart skips a beat. I imagine a midfield featuring KdB, Eriksen and Dave. Then I remember my defence. But then I start dreaming again.
I call Xherdan Shaqiri into my office and let him know that I’ve accepted an offer for his services. He looks relieved, the cheeky sod. Gary gets £6.2m in for him and I conclude an emotional deal to bring Dave Silva home.
When the squad returned from the break, there was Dave, our new vice-cpatain, getting ready in the changing room. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. I can feel our fortunes returning…
Schmeichel – Janmaat, Otamendi, Maguire, Cresswell – Milivojevic, KdB – Eriksen, Firmino, Silva – Aubameyang
Gomes, Xhaka, Niasse, Hegazi