The Fantasy Football Blog week 22: falling faster than the FTSE 100

Miles Reucroft is undertaking a different way of playing the ever popular Fantasy Football this season. To understand his methodology, read part one here. The Week 1 review is here, Week 2 transfers & preview here, Week 3 preview here, Week 4 preview here, Week 5 preview here, Week 6 preview here, Week 7 preview here, Week 8 preview here, Week 9 preview here, Week 10 preview here, Week 11 preview here. Week 12 preview here. Week 13 preview here. Week 14 preview here. Week 15 here. Week 16 here. Week 17 here. Week 18 here. Week 19 here. Week 20 here. Week 21 here.

Last week was a near complete shambles. As if bidding farewell to Dave Silva wasn’t enough, the boys racked up a mere 31 points for the gameweek. This, against an average weekly haul of 43 points has lowered us to 1,438,508th in the standings. Things are regressing quickly.

I decided that the lads needed a pick-me-up this week. I decided that I needed a pick-me-up this week. Silently sipping on whisky in the aftermath of Dave’s departure, I couldn’t get my head around the fact that I’d had to let him go but that I still had Phil Jones in the side.

“No more shall a terrified midfield have to turn back to see his gurning face galloping awkwardly as a bits-and-pieces right back with all the grace of a shire horse chancing its arm at Royal Ascot,” I said to myself. “We need stability; not leaden-hooved ridiculousness and own goals. It’s time for a change.”

I soon worked out that I’d be better off saying that to Gary, our player agent, rather than my own miserable reflection. So I did just that.

“This is what happens when you play a centre back at right back, pal,” comes the sarcastic reply.

“I know, I know, but the situation has demanded it of late,” I reply. “It has become unworkable and he needs to go.”

“I can get you £5.4m for Jones,” says Gary. It’s a fair price and I agree immediately. There will be no chauffeur driven and tear fuelled exits this week. I won’t even say goodbye, I’m at the end of my tether.

As Jones departs I start scanning the market for some options. Kieran Trippier, formerly of this parish, enters my thinking. I was reluctant to let him go originally but he was crocked and he’s a tempting option. Cedric, another former FC Fakin’ Run Aboutiabit player is also piquing my interest. I briefly dabble with the idea of Pablo Zabaleta, but then suddenly remember that I’m not completely mental.

I enquire about a safer pair of hands. “How much for Daryl Janmaat?” I ask Gary.

“£4.8m,” he replies.

The steady Dutchman becomes our latest addition, also freeing up £0.6m in the coffers. He’s not long back from injury and I’m looking forward to seeing how he goes this weekend.

For the first time in a long time, we’ve got a proper back four. Janmaat and Aaron Cressewell as wing backs with Nicolas Otamendi and Ahmed Hegazi marshalling the middle.

Fernandinho will play the regista role, with KdB more of a roaming play maker as his partner. I’m feeling more adventurous with a genuine back four, perhaps recklessly so.

Xherdan Sahqiri will start on the right wing with licence to get at the opposition full back. Firmino will operate centrally as a shadow striker behind Harry Kane, with Christian Eriksen operating as a wide playmaker on the left.

I’m excited. The boys look excited. It’s time to get this season back on track.

4-2-3-1

Gomes – Janmaat, Otamendi, Heghazi, Cresswell – Fernandinho, KdB – Shaqiri, Firmini, Eriksen – Kane

Subs

Schmeichel, Xhaka, Maguire, Okazaki

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