Trump given nuclear codes in same way you give fake mobile number to someone you don’t fancy

As Donald Trump takes over control of the most powerful nation on earth, the CIA have decided on a tactic to not give him the correct nuclear codes.

Kevin Marshall, 52, head of the CIA, told his staff in a briefing yesterday: “Ok pretend you are on a terrible date and you never want to see them again, so in no way offer you them your phone number, if they ask just give them a random set of digits off the top of your head.”

Earlier this morning Trump, sensing the CIA never wanted to see him again, asked for the nuclear codes.

A nervous CIA agent said: “it’s 076498590,”

Trump replied: “there is a digit missing?”

“Eh yeh, sorry sir there is a 9 at the end.” He replied.

Trump said: “Ok great, reckon I’ll blow up North Korea at the end of inauguration just as Michel Flately finishes his jig. I won’t let him upstage me, he might be Lord of the Dance, but I’m the Lord of War.”

Mr Marshall said: “We fully expect him to press the code at some point in the next 24 hours, when someone says something mildly offensive at him on Twitter, but it’s ok, we are just going to send him a video of the surface of Jupiter and tell him it’s Pyongyang.”

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