Storm Emma proves climate change is fake, says Janet from Bromley

#Satire

Janet Birch, a delivery firm fleet manager from Bromley, says she has been proved right that climate change is a hoax due to the arrival of Storm Emma, otherwise known as ‘The Beast from the East’.

Storm Emma has bought chaos to the UK with heavy snowfall leaving motorists trapped in their cars overnight. There have been sub-zero temperatures recorded all over the country, with footage of freezing harbours, frozen waterfalls and icy rivers.

Members of the public have been stockpiling food ahead of the storm, leaving many supermarket shelves bare.

Janet said ‘This weather proves there is no such thing as ‘global warming’. We should sunbathing in Church House Gardens right now. But instead I feel like a bloody penguin’.

‘I’ve been telling my kids for years that there’s no such thing as global warming. It’s a hoax made up by the Chinese. I don’t know why, but that’s what I’ve heard.’

When asked what she thought about the overwhelming global scientific consensus that man-made climate change is the biggest threat to the entire population, Janet remarked,

‘It’s all a load of rubbish. What do they know?’

‘It’s not happening, so there is absolutely no point in cleaning up our act, moving to clean sources of energy, lowering pollution, and making the air better for our kids. I mean, what if we did all that and it turns out to be a hoax? Which it is. What a waste of time. Pointless.’

Janet was also asked if extreme weather all over the world could be a result of shifting jet streams and ocean currents caused by man-made activity. She concluded,

‘Weather is weather. How on Earth can the individual actions of people like me make a difference to it? Stupid.’

19 Responses

  1. Kiera

    I guess this post is here to stimulate an aggressive response from the public. Needless to say very few people are as short sighted as this woman with a very low IQ.

    1. Snow man

      Everyone who thinks global warming is fake should go back to school:( planet cool it’s self by unleashing storms such as Emma, in future there will be more and more of those . So be ready nonbelievers!!!

  2. Ed

    I hope you live a long and happy life along with the all of your family as the generation after them probably won’t have a planet to live on.

  3. Damien

    Beast from the east is as a result of warming in the atmosphere over north pole cause a change in direction of the vortex which pushes South in addition disrupts the the Atlantic jet stream which keeps our climate warm what part of this is not global warm just because it snows in one place it causes heatwave in another east coast of America are getting 26 degree temperatures when it should be getting -10 stupid woman

  4. Dean

    Research: Beyond the poles. And read the book. Global warming and climate change is fake. There’s more land beyond the poles and the global theory is rubbish and space is fake. Wake up people

  5. Charlie

    Ed you’re talking rubbish. What’s the worst that can happen? The extinction of the human race. That’s not the end of planet. Without man the planet will recover and some other species will thrive. None of it really matters. What will be, will be and all that.

  6. Sean

    Why do you even give these scientifically inept idiots a platform to speak on! This is the reason climate change is still debated in the face of facts, if 2000 doctors said you had cancer and 1 didn’t.. who would you believe? That’s literally the stats on the consensus of the scientific community! Global warming is happening.. decreased function of the gulf stream will lead to colder winters and warmer summers in the UK! Read people!

  7. Melly Zelly

    I laughed at the comments of these two people here who think they know best yet this article is a satire! hahahaha

  8. Damian

    She may have a point, ask yourself a few questions,
    where do all the scientists that agree with global warming get their funding?
    How much CO2 is there in our atmosphere?
    How many scientist disagree with the theory of global warming?
    How much revenue do green taxes bring to the government’s?
    What % of energy consumption do renewables suppy.
    10,000 years ago there was a mile high ice shelf in New York, if there wasn’t human interference, why did it melt?

    When it comes to government’s, always ask why?

  9. Ana

    Ohh my gosh.. i never read so many bullshits.. who is this person.. does she understand about climate? Does she know what global warming means? Jess don’t you guys have anything more interesting to show than an ignorant ladu?

  10. Mel

    I watched a documentary of world renowned scientists who concluded that there was no such thing as global warming and I agree with them…..many multi-million businesses would cease to exist and thousands of people would lose their jobs and that is why the myth of global warming is propagated. Yes the seasons are changing but they provided evidence that this was a phenomenon that also happened thousands of years ago before pollution etc. Believers of global warming are the ones being brainwashed.

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