A raft of secret service jobs are set to be rolled out for the observant fuckers who have realised it’s getting dark earlier.
The Secret Intelligence Service, commonly known as MI6, is looking to recruit people who can detect subtle changes in light conditions in relation to the time of the day simply by looking out of the window.
It is thought that every home and office in the UK is likely to send at least one vigilant candidate for consideration, namely to ensure they don’t spout out the same bollocks this time next year.
MI6 spokesperson 00BST, who is standing in for 00DST, said: “We are on the lookout for anyone perceptive enough to spot that the nights are drawing in faster than they were yesterday, and we’re particularly interested in those who state it out loud.
“The MI6 has a proud history nurturing observant fuckers, so if you spot anyone who is quick to notice the change in conditions don’t hesitate to let us know.”
Despite it being widely publicised that the clocks go back today thus changing the hours in which we have daylight, it is expected that the changes this evening will leave many Brits baffled.
Nora Oakley, who has seen the clocks being put back 73 times over her lifetime, said: “It seems to get darker every year.
“One day I’m walking back from the precinct basking in sunshine and the next I’m searching for my torchlight. It doesn’t half make you wonder.”
Nora was unable to make it past the first round of testing at MI6 because she thought Daylight Saving was “something off of Star Wars”.