Scientists unsure how to dispose of Love Island contestants

Scientists are unsure how to dispose of Love Island contestants after the popular ITV show ends tonight.

This comes after the news that an estimated 5.25 TRILLION pieces plastic waste are floating in our Oceans, with Eight million tonnes of plastic being dumped into the sea every year.

Over two tons of that plastic waste was discovered washed up on Love Island, which had mutated into human-like sub-species.

Concerned with the extreme rise in plastics floating in the ocean and washing up on beaches all over the world, scientists say it’s imperative that disposal of these densely plastic creatures is managed properly.

Dr Chris Connors said ‘The amount of oil and plastic found in these things is unprecedented.

‘We don’t know what they are yet and we haven’t worked out how they survive with such low proportions of living parts in their bodies.

‘We also noticed they had very tiny brains, similar to seagulls.

‘One thing is certain –they will soon be redundant, so they need to be disposed of quickly, efficiently, and without allowing any of their parts to spill into our oceans.’

Humans have created 1.9bn tonnes of plastic, with around half made within the last 13 years. Much of this is single-use plastic has made its way into our oceans through watercourses as a result of littering and poor waste management processes.

Former Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher added ‘The way we treat our environment, just tossing rubbish all over the place and producing more and more of it at ever increasing rates, is so stupid, it’s like we’re all just as fu%^ing thick and shallow as those Love Island contestants.’

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