School kids prophesised day off from rubbish PFI deals

As shoddily built schools were closed in Scotland, it meant the only citizens who have ever benefited from PFI were children, getting a few days off. However, they knew this day would come.

They had prophesised these free days off school, in fables about this momentous occasion, handed down from seniors, in cramped cloakrooms, hopscotch cabals and nap-time whispers.

Angus, 7, enjoying his days off, said: “PFI was no more efficient than other forms of borrowing and it was “illusory” that it shielded the taxpayer from risk. Now can you please leave me to glue this piece of lego to my cheek please,” he added.

Freya, 6, chewing a piece of plasticine echoed his views, saying: “We believe that a financial model that routinely finds in favour of the PFI route, after the significant increases in finance costs in the wake of the financial crisis was unlikely to be fundamentally sound, and this would impact on the build quality of the capital projects.

“Using our crude indicators, finger painting, we predicted the PFI crisis would be fully felt in 2019-20, we believe unforeseen externalities eschewed our data; weird Robbie ate a tub of the paint.”

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