PM slams ‘shocking’ security after Boris Johnson spotted at Tory party conference

Prime Minister Theresa May has called into question the vetting of conference attendees after police investigations showed Johnson had legitimate accreditation granting him access to the hall, despite being a lying shitbag.

The police confirmed that once an application has been passed to them by the Conservative party it is their job to screen for relevant activity that would prohibit attendance, such as ‘talking like a knitwit’ and ‘falsifying claims for personal gain and blatant careerism’.

Despite the embarrassment Met Police have today confirmed that Johnson will face no further action other than ‘continuing to be a laughing stock in the eyes of the entire world’.

Amber Rudd who had the misfortune of sitting next to the intruder told us “ He is simply a pathetic prankster hell bent on making a name for himself by making others look ridiculous. He is the lowest of the low and I firmly believe we should all stop talking about him altogether”.

“At one point I told him to get out but he just stood up and started clapping like a demented seal”.

Words Tom Moore

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